Arrival

One of cinema's greatest achievements, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, is joyful in large part due to the time paradoxes it introduces.

Mad props to Amy Adams & company for the Bill & Ted tribute.

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24

I don't remember ever seeing a time travel movie where the travelers arrive in the past at the age they were way back then.

I guess I'll never be seeing dinosaurs in person.

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Krrish 3

One of the more memorable super villains here has an amazingly-long, luridly-flexible tongue.

You'd think that would make him one of the GOOD guys.


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The Hunger Games

I really enjoyed it; sure, it didn't fully capture the subtext of the book, but what can one do?

I guess we'll have to wait for the reboot to find out.




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John Carter

What nerve, what a letdown: watching that cheezy preview, this was certainly something I didn't want to see.

And then the movie has the nerve to kick the sorry ass of Avatar and all THREE Star Wars prequels-- going so far as to even make me want to read the original story!


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Chronicle

I love the flying and the toy store pranks—it makes me envy these folks. 

And then the cr*p goes down.

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In Time

Time is really money, and if you have extra time, you can stay young forever.

Not in an awful, plastic surgery cat lady kinda way, but for real.



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Source Code

This guy can do anything--including fly backward through the holes in this film's logic!

You know, I could mock this film up & down for days--but it's still consistenly entertaining, and certainly kicks Inception's ass.

I Am Number Four

Takes place at a high school full of weird white kids, and the baddies die in a poof of ash when they are staked.

I guess there's no need now to make that new "Buffy" film they've been talking about.

Action Replayy

As far as movies about guys going back into the past to make their parents fall in love go, this one ends up being a lot less funny that it could be, sadly.

What it's got over that '80s movie, though, is singing & dancing, an over-the-top flying time machine, and a much better-looking cast.

Monsters

I do appreciate that rather being a big, explosion-y, look-at-the-looming-monster-y type of alien invasian movie, this is more about the journey of and relationship between the two leads.

It's a good thing, too, considering the loony octopus-on-lobster-legs, floaty-pasted-over-CGI look of the beasts.

Hereafter

Clint Eastwood is such an awesome filmmaker; print out a list of his works, tack it on a wall, throw a dart & go see that movie-- you can't go wrong!

Unless your unfortunate dart lands on the title of THIS interminably long, lethargic, boring and lifeless turkey.

Inception

Fascinating idea that, once it gets started, goes full-speed-ahead with the capital-A Action, taking no more time to dare get ponderous.

It was so relentlessly loud, I had a hell of a time trying to get to sleep.

Avatar

Screw the format.

Sure, I could write about this movie in two sentences; heck, I could review it in one: Avatar is underacted, over-directed, and completely lacking in subtlety.

But why stop there?

I’m certainly not saying I hated this movie. Lords know I was prepared to, but it was actually pretty entertaining, pretty good-looking—and I do enjoy the occasional popcorn movie chunk-o-cheez. And this IS a chunk-o-cheez: how about that OTT commanding officer? The Plucky, Undeveloped Latina Character Who We All Know is Going to Die a Hero? Stock stuff. And in keeping with the current blockbuster trend, just like the last over-hyped effects-laden pre-proclaimed megahit, Avatar ends in a Transformer battle (one-sided though this one is). Hey, at least Sigourney Weaver isn’t shooting the Aliens this time—heck, she IS one of the aliens! It’s not enough, and neither is even her performance; it’s obvious from Avatar’s first moments: the script and the acting need polishing.

What is polished—and all that anyone seems to really care about—are the visuals. “You’ve GOT to see Avatar on IMAX 3-D,” everyone drools. I’d prefer to have seen it in standard Real-D, where I don’t recall encountering the ghost images I saw with the huge blue-and-green IMAX glasses—which are perhaps why I was distracted enough to actually pay attention to the film as a whole.

Amazing CGI does not a good movie make—it’s but one component. Kudos to the tech team, because for most of the film, the CGI visuals are indeed just swell. They cannot, however, save Avatar from being the overwrought, over-hyped mess it is. Why does James Cameron spend so little time on the subtle, human moments, and then linger so voyeuristically long over the obvious, bombastic stuff (we get the point, already!)? The answer is simple: because he can. He’s distracted by the pricey, shiny computer graphics as well.

My challenge to Cameron is this: figure out the story you’re trying to tell (as near as I can tell, he’s going for a non-musical version of Disney’s Pocahontas), and do it with a tenth of the budget. Seriously. I think the challenge of focusing on bare-bones storytelling economics would force this filmmaker—as it has with countless others over the history of cinema—to hone in on his message, ease up on the excessiveness, and focus on art rather than pyrotechnics.

Of course, a tiny budget can also result in a sci-fi suckfest like “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” but I have more faith in Cameron than that.

Surrogates

The future spin on telecommuting--you sit in your home pod while your younger, hotter (and possibly even darker & more opposite-sexy) robo-doppelgänger heads into work for you!

I'd be happier if I could be off traveling, rather than having to still concentrate remotely on the office.

9

In a post-apocolyptic world, little burlap guys run from a nonstop series of crashes, booms and blasts.

That's the beginning, that's the end-- and the middle is not interesting, either.

District 9

Wow, what a steaming heap of poo that was-- so does every pseudo-stab at allegory on hate and xenophobia get a free pass, no matter how lame in the attempt?

And to add insult upon insult--why the Transformer, WHY?!?

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Michael Bay's return to the scene of the crime leaves little of Egypt--or Hasbro--standing.

Truly awful, but I did have some favorite parts: those few seconds when my earplugs allowed me to doze off just a bit.