Thursday, December 29, 2011

Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

The fourth time out, they've made a really exciting action movie; it had me jumping on the edge of my seat.

Much of that, of course, could be attributed to my over-full bladder.

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Sunday, December 4, 2011

Pokémon the Movie: White — Victini and Zekrom

How exciting-- a brand-new, magical pokémon creature is introduced, and it's a huge fan of macarons.

It's obvious the cartoon version of the cookie is better than most versions I've ever tried.

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Wednesday, November 30, 2011


This movie is being compared to "Tron," for obvious reasons.

The major difference is that this film is far, FAR superior--a very fun movie to watch.

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Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Muppets

The best Muppet movie in forever; these guys are definitely best when they are playing themselves.

Although to be honest, the leads sound & even look different enough (skin & fur replacement therapy, Piggy & Fozzie?) that it's plausible these are doppelgangers.

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Unusual for a Bollywood film in that there's smooching & adultery.

And that what few singing & dancing things there are fit perfectly into the flow of the story.

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In Time

Time is really money, and if you have extra time, you can stay young forever.

Not in an awful, plastic surgery cat lady kinda way, but for real.

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Saturday, November 19, 2011

J. Edgar

I generally like Clint Eastwood as a director, and Dustin Lance Black as a writer-- but it's truly the make-up department that grabs every bit of attention in this film.

What a complete train wreck.

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A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

This is one movie you actually want to see in 3D, because an otherwise horribly sad & long first stretch of the film depends almost soley upon that. 

One highlight of H&K3: perhaps the greatest claymation scene ever filmed.

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Friday, October 28, 2011

Margin Call

A talking-heads movie does not have to be at all boring.

I guess it's just a simple coincidence that this one is.

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The Skin I Live In / La piel que habito

Antonio Banderas (Spy Kids, Puss in Boots) plays the dangerous career move of asking himself, "what would George Clooney do (WWGCD)," and ends up in the most twisted deep end of Almodóvarland.

On the bright side, this would make a perfect double feature if paired with "Human Centipede."

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Johnny English Reborn

Come for the best Bond since Moore, stay for the killer auntie.

The cooking scene is just a tasty bonus.

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I'm thinking this would be really great-- for people who give a crap about baseball.

The good news is, this movie IS a lot more interesting--and concise--than an actual baseball game.

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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Gets the balance between comedy and drama just right, walking that tightrope with ease.

The bad news is, this could create more hypochondriacs than Contagion.

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Tuesday, September 20, 2011


Seeing as it stars Ryan Gosling, I thought I was going to an arthouse film.

Turns out it's a grindhouse movie, which happens to have Gosling in it.

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Sunday, September 18, 2011


It was okay—it should sell plenty of Purell—but it was just too long.

After a while I got sick of it.

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Thanks to the choppy action editing, I could not really tell who was doing what to whom.

The good news is, I really didn’t care.

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The Smurfs

I felt like I was watching an art house film.

This was, however, probably because I saw it with Chinese subtitles.

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I'm sorry this film was made; I really wish the creative people at Disney & Pixar would focus on breaking new ground, rather than the current tread toward sequels & retreads.

That being said, this was an excellent accomplishment.

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Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

I am excited that it’s over.

Now I can’t wait for the reboot.

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Sunday, August 21, 2011

Captain America: The First Avenger

Oddly, a lot of Star Wars references here--Endor, anyone?

I'll say this: as far as superhero movies starring Chris What-his-face go, I sure prefer this to the ones where we are supposed to take Jessica Elbow seriously.

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Friday, August 19, 2011

30 Minutes or Less

The fact that this movie features Danny McBride automatically disqualifies it from Oscar consideration-- or even great comedy, for that matter.

I do think it has a perfect ending moment, but other than that, it is about two hours too long.

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Trip

Billed as a comedy, "The Trip" does have some big laughs in it: about five minutes' worth, total.

The movie as a whole is pointless & interminable.

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Conan O'Brien Can't Stop

It's an interesting process, Conan's funny, and he has LOTS of friends appearing with him on this series of live shows between late-night TV programs.

I just wish the camera had spent less time fixated on O'Brien's very un-entertaining personal assistant.

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Sunday, July 3, 2011

Midnight in Paris

This whole thing about the wannabe writer somehow slipping back in time each night really worked for me.

I'm not sure that Owen Wilson did, though.

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Monday, June 20, 2011

Friday, June 10, 2011

The First Grader

From elementary school directly to the senior center--it's easy when you start school at the age of 84!

Upsetting, fun & fascinating, this "based on a true story" is less formulaic than most of its inspirational ilk that I can recall.

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

X-Men: First Class

As much as I love to hate movies, this one I couldn't: it's a fun ride, and a very well-made movie, start to finish.

The only big fault I have with it is the lack of Stan Lee.

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(a little something on the side)

Texters & talkers deserve public humiliation!

That's why I love this story about a very special theater in Austin, Texas.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Everything Must Go

I think I like Will Ferrell better in this drama than I have in any of the comedies he's ever made.

I thought he was much funnier than usual.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

(a little something on the side: you can now read this trash on F-book)

Two-Sentence Movie reviews now has a FACEBOOK page!

Big whoop!

Kung Fu Panda 2

While largely enjoyable, the sequel is less fun & more violent than the original, and the slight design changes leave some of the characters looking at times maquette-ish.

The movie's very final moment leaves things wide open for yet another sequel--a very unnecessary sequel.

African Cats

DisneyNature's annual Earth Day release, this is the classic "nature show," in that the viewers find themselves rooting for either the hunter or the hunted.

As I do during many of thes movies, I constantly found myself wondering, "how'd they get that footage?"

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

I was kind of looking forward to seeing this fourth "Pirates" movie, having heard that it was shorter than the others.

Unfortunately, I don't think it was at all short enough.


In the world of raunchy comedies, "Bridesmaids" dances all over "The Hangover," and certainly anything by Will Ferrell.

There, I said it.

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roderick Rules

The first movie made me laugh so hard, of course I wanted to see the second.

The second is still packed with embarassing fun, and best yet, makes me want to read the books.


Wasn't even sure I wanted to see it: the comic had never appealed to me, and I always find Portman & Hopkins to be OTT in their "anything for the money" roles.

Once I got over snickering at "ice giants," I found the movie to be, surprisingly, much better than I could have dared hope.

Saturday, May 28, 2011


The bad news is there were some holes, some things I thought were pretty major that never seemed to be satisfactorily explained.

The good news is, I don't think there will be a sequel to explain all this.

Source Code

This guy can do anything--including fly backward through the holes in this film's logic!

You know, I could mock this film up & down for days--but it's still consistenly entertaining, and certainly kicks Inception's ass.


It opens & closes like Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room.

Inbetween, there's a laugh here & there, but not much else of value.

Barney's Version

He's coaching a high school wrestling team, and he's wrestling with some serious personality issues--and getting schooled.

Get it?

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


This movie is hilarious, and certainly the best use of Russell Brand-Perry I've ever experienced.

And of course, I loved Helen Mirren; she could do anything--even the title role.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Adjustment Bureau

You know,this movie is a lot better than I could have possibly expected it to be, with plenty of heart and laughs to accompany its action.

I could have done without the b*llsh*t theology, though.


"What if a pill could make you rich and powerful?"

I'm not that greedy-- I just want a pill that can make me fly.

The Lincoln Lawyer

What's good about it is that it makes me want to read the book; also, Matthew McConaughey has certainly been much worse.

What's not so good is that I was expecting this to be more focused on the fact that the lawyer operates from his car--that aspect was practically irrelevant to this entire movie.