Saturday, December 10, 2016

Manchester by the Sea


Gripping, but a complete downer from beginning to end.

The film's worst moments are when the music takes over, most notably when a cartoonishly bombastic score tells us what we are supposed to be feeling during an already clearly horrifying scene.



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Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Spirited Away: 15th Anniversary





The movie is a masterpiece, of course, and breathtaking when viewed on the large screen.

The "Ghiblies" short features, though, are mostly a waste of time, pretty much just animators fooling around & letting off some steam--but I can't help but think if Disney/Pixar were to allow their staff such leeway, their more recent work would be a whole lot more creative & breathtaking.



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Loving



Unbelievably suspenseful, especially considering that of course I already knew how the court case came out.

What's sad is, I spent a good part of the movie worrying about a Trump administration.



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Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them


Ever since the final Harry Potter movie, Warner Brothers has been trying to find that next Harry Potter, the blockbuster, captivating, spellbinding film series that will recapture the magic and the masses.

And they need to keep on looking.




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Thursday, November 17, 2016

Arrival



One of cinema's greatest achievements, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey, is joyful in large part due to the time paradoxes it introduces.

Mad props to Amy Adams & company for the Bill & Ted tribute.



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Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Naruda DONORuda





This Vicky Donor remake we never knew we needed has plenty of popping cork imagery, poorly-produced musical scenes--and yes, also plenty of fun & funny moments.

They key here, as with the original, is to leave at intermission.





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Wednesday, October 12, 2016

The Dressmaker


Billed as a "revenge comedy," though the two never quite really came at the same time: it was more like: comedy, comedy, comedy---and then a switch to revenge.

It doesn't matter, though: this movie gets high marks just for being DIFFERENT.



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Thursday, September 22, 2016

Pink



Nothing like the preview that made me think Bachchan was playing a masked killer, this movie begins somewhere in the middle, then dips in & out of confusion as it slowly fills in the gaps.

Bachchan's courtroom speeches would surely anger the parents of some college rapists.




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Thursday, September 15, 2016

Freaky Ali



Starts out laugh-out-loud funny, and rarely changes its tone.

Sure, the ending is abrupt & nuts, and there are loose ends, but we've got a fine underpants-to-riches story here.




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Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Happy Bhag Jayegi


Happy is a runaway bride who seems to have 3 men in love with her, despite the fact she behaves horribly toward everyone she encounters.

This is one of those movies where you somehow think she might actually end up with all three of the gents.




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Sunday, September 4, 2016

Southside with You


Only two people know what happened on that first date, but it is enjoyable being a fly on the wall.  

And also in the broken-down hoopty.




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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

A Flying Jatt


It's true: on the basis of its special effects--using the same technology as your local TV weather report--this movie can't compete with Marvel Studios.

As far as sheer FUN, though--and song & dance number Cap & Thor had best never attempt--this is the winning super hero film.



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Sunday, August 28, 2016

Don't Breathe



The violence got progressively more appalling, until the only relief was in the idea that at least there would be no one left around for a sequel.

And then they left things wide open for a sequel.





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Hell or High Water



Offers just enough resolution to leave room for a sequel.

This is an Art Film, though, so I know there will be no sequel--thank goodness.



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Saturday, August 27, 2016

Joker



In the last line before the intermission, a woman tells a man she will marry him if he installs a toilet.

Of course, I had to come back after the break.



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Florence Foster Jenkins



The producers had to spend an awful lot of money, training Meryl Streep to sing awfully.

They could have had me for a lot less money; I'm already at my peak.




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Star Trek Beyond


Well, I thought, for obvious reasons, they would finally let go of their fetish with the TV series cast--but they didn't.

A photo of the aging cast in their movie years, really?




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Saturday, July 9, 2016

Sardaar Ji 2



I wish the movie were as fun as all of its posters make it look, but posters lie all the time.

I did like his secret good & evil selves, exactly the kind of thing I remember from old Donald Duck cartoons.


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Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Parched


Horror gets laid upon horror, upon more horror.

It's really a wonder these women can manage a smile at the end.




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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Love & Friendship


This is a simply wonderful film to see if you are out & about, and in need of a nap.

There are neither any loud noises, nor anything else at all that might keep you awake.






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X-Men: Apocalypse




The absolutely best part of this movie was the "Sweet Dreams" scene with Quicksilver, or Kid Flash, or whatever that guy's name is (I'm glad he survived "Age of Ultron," after all).

This movie could have been great if they had included Spider-Man.



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Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Sarbjit


This is one tearjerker that layers misery, on top of misery, on top of misery.

Seriously: they got the dancing out of the way quite early in the movie, and then it was as if it had never happened--and certainly never would, ever, ever again.




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Saturday, May 28, 2016

The Man Who Knew Infinity



Even though Dev Patel plays the title character, I could tell it was Jeremy Irons they were trying to get an Oscar, as the cameras started to go low & swirly as that ol' guy started giving a speech.

Now, the speech itself was hardly award-worthy, but give Irons the award, anyhow--not really for this movie, no, but because he was Scar the Lion!



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Wednesday, May 11, 2016

24


I don't remember ever seeing a time travel movie where the travelers arrive in the past at the age they were way back then.

I guess I'll never be seeing dinosaurs in person.



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Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Keanu


This is so bad, so devoid of laughs, it makes me worry for Key & Peele's futures.

The only thing more unfunny than this movie is the previews that were played beforehand.



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Monday, May 9, 2016

Captain America: Civil War



Wow, this is the best of the Avengers movies--and not just because Gwyneth Paltrow stayed home!

Spider-Man really makes this movie fun to watch (and the other bug guy doesn't hurt, either).



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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Fan



The movie has some pretty exciting chase segments, the best of them being the first, which is entirely vertical.

Other than that, CGI, heavy makeup, and SRK's purposeful overbite do much of the heavy lifting here.




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Wednesday, May 4, 2016

A Hologram for the King


Nothing happens in this movie; even Ben Whishaw--Q from the Bond movies, who is allegedly in here someplace--disappears into this sleepy mess.

The snorkeling scene is nice, though.



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Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Laal Rang


Well, they do talk about "Dracula" and "Batman" an awful lot, but even with blood flying all over the place, it's just not all that exciting.

To be honest, I just saw this one so I could avoid "Fan."



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Elvis & Nixon




The best part of the whole movie is when the Elvis impersonators mistake Elvis for an Elvis impersonator.

At that point, though, they might have been right.



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Thursday, April 21, 2016

Barbershop: The Next Cut


Not as funny as any of its predecessors, this "Barbershop" is less a comedy than a cause film.

If the film helps the cause, it's all worth it.



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My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2


I never saw the original, but this movie stars a cast of unknowns who apparently all made one movie about 15 years ago.

The one other group of people in my screening were laughing so hard, I figured they were either: a) Greek; or, like me, seeing the parallels to The Addams Family.


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Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Kapoor & Sons (Since 1921)



Sure, a hot lead goes a long way, but even that can't distract from some things.

Things like Rishi Kapoor's wretchedly-thick pancake makeup.



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Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Hello, My Name Is Doris


Will the young guy at work ever find out that his septuagenarian suitor wears a clip-on hairpiece?

It's a fun movie, mostly, but the funniest parts are the one-off comments written for the hipster gathering somewhere in the middle.




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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Eye in the Sky

 

At the SeniorPlex, it was a choice between this movie & some silly thing starring Sally Field; being a Helen "Hella" Mirren fan, I chose this.

After watching her stuck in one room, barking out commands for two hours, I Hella wish Mirren had starred in the silly thing.


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Ki & Ka


This movie is so unrealistic.

No woman would let her husband turn their home into a toy train station that looks like a steroid version of the one on Mister Rogers' Neighborhood.


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Thursday, March 24, 2016

The Lady in the Van



Poor Maggie Smith; first her time serving as Downton Abbey's answer to Bea Arthur came to an end, and now she's smelling up a series of broken-down vans.

As if being underused throughout the Harry Potter series was not enough of an indignity for one lifetime.



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Monday, March 21, 2016

Jai GangaaJal



Sure, she's gorgeous, but Abha Mathur is no-nonsense: she is tougher than any man under her command (or above her rank); she doesn't engage in singing & dancing; she isn't mooning over any man; and she does not--even once--stand in front of any damned wind machine.

Such a role is rare even here in the U.S., and I'm sure Priyanka Chopra's leading tough-guy madam-sir role owes a lot to her success as a TV star in Quantico.


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Friday, March 11, 2016

10 Cloverfield Lane



What a film--a lot of really horrific things take place over the course of this story.

The most appalling of all is a sandwich made of marshmallow fluff & peanut butter.


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Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Deadpool



Deadpool is funny, Deadpool is violent, Deadpool is an effects movie.

Two of the most special effects: Deadpool's eyes, and Ryan Renolds' keyster.



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Friday, January 15, 2016

Wazir



I was going to call this movie's genre "revenge porn," but I am told by the Wiki page that what I should say is "crime thriller."  

As such, there are many of the expected stunts and FX, but the one special effect that had me absolutely staring the whole time was Amitabh Bachchan's hairline.



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Friday, January 1, 2016

Star Wars: The Force Awakens


I really enjoyed the new Star Wars movie a lot, but I hear George Lucas hated it, and do you know what I have to say to him?

"GOOD, GEORGE--NOW YOU KNOW HOW THAT FEELS!"


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