Heroine

Dramatic moments are accompanied by over-the-top swells of music & choppy cuts, indicating the filmmakers don't trust their own writing.

The abrupt, pasted-on ten-second voice-over "this is how it ends" faux conclusion proves they were right to doubt themselves.



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Raiders of the Lost Ark

The bad news regarding this re-release is that it would seem they did nothing to clean up the old print.

The good news is how much it reminded me of the Disneyland ride.




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Hit & Run

This is like a Fast & Furious movie for people who like to take a nice-sized nap between race sequences.

Writer/co-director Dax Shepard fills this movie with many of his more well-known friends -- all of whom he now owes unspeakably-large favors.



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Barfi!

Loved the physical humor, the more-subtle approach, and the fact they actually stuck with the same story after the intermission.

Of course, my eyes are still rolling over the handy way they dispatched with the inconvenient love triangle.




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Raula Pai Gaya - Fun Unlimited

A singularly-awful movie: "comedy" accentuated by the overuse of sound effects rather by creating actual laughs, editing that would be mocked by an eighth-grader on YouTube, and perhaps the worst & most unnecessary attempted use of CGI I have ever seen.

If I had actually liked anything about the movie, I would have been irritated by the incompetent subtitling, which went out at random, and when it was on, employed spelling & grammar only marginally better than that which I've seen on signs at Tea Party rallies.



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ParaNorman

A beautiful animated film that adults can enjoy--artistically-crafted, funny, and smart.

Which is fine, I guess, if that's the kind of thing you are into.



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For a Good Time Call...

I saw many comparisons of this film to Bridesmaids, which makes no sense as that movie was a comedy.

The only laugh I got from this thing was the fact that it played at Sundance.






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Joker

Will the evil American destroy our hero's plan to fake an alien landing (and thus save his village)?

The horrible Western actors in Bollywood films must NEVER win!



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Savages

The best part of this entire violent, drug-addled mess (apart from a brief glimpse of naughty fun) is when Selma Hayek finally tears off her damned Prince Valiant pageboy wig.

Sadly, she's plopped it right back on by the next scene.



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The Intouchables

French friendship--on wheels!

Of course, if this were an American movie, there'd be a sequel involving the quadriplegic & his caretaker switching roles.



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Ek Tha Tiger

Makes at least as much sense as any other action/spy movie, even setting itself up for possible sequels.

Not sure how much it does for India/Pakistan relations, though.




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The Bourne Legacy

What the-- after all we have to sit through here, the movie doesn't even end.

It just... ends.



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Ruby Sparks

Man makes himself a real-live love doll, and then everything blows up.

Its sorta like Lars and the Real Girl, only not nearly at all as good.



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Sleepwalk with Me

Mostly harmless, if you can get over all the cringe-worthy bits (of which there are many).

I'd rather see a straight-up documentary with stand-up inserts--but the good news is, it certainly didn't put me to sleep.



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Cocktail

It's ridiculous to call out a Bollywood film for being realistic--but this is a ridiculous website, so let me say these two woman really handled the whole situation way too well.

Also, I am happy to report this film has nothing to do with Tom Cruise.



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The Dark Knight Rises

So lacking in fun, one almost wishes they'd brought in Adam West for this one.

Sure, I'd still be bitching--but I'd probably go back to see it a second time!




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Celeste and Jesse Forever

A former couple has difficulty separating after their divorce.

The movie--much like the relationships--is sweet, though filled with messy loose ends.




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Robot and Frank

Old man gets constant stimulation from a special electronic friend.

It's a really great movie, though not nearly as hot as I am making it sound.




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To Rome with Love

What the hell was that mess?

It was the unsatisfying detritus one gets from apparently trying to blend "The Love Boat" with a half-remembered New Yorker cartoon.


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