DATE: 04/14/2009 23:41:51
Very funny & sweet.
Just like me.
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Monsters vs. Aliens
DATE: 04/14/2009 10:02:59
Dreamworks is way back down from its "Kung Fu Panda" high with a movie that may have many chuckles, but packs not much of a punch
It's all about blob--uh, Bob--whose antics could make a short & hilarious outtakes reel.
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Duplicity
DATE: 04/10/2009 09:41:29
Playing with moving back & forth in the storyline works brilliantly-- but not in this film.
There was a good story here that never got proper emphasis, and several good actors who could've been better utilized elsewhere.
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Sunshine Cleaning
DATE: 03/30/2009 10:48:58
Sweet-n-Sour sisters fall into hauling away the grime from grisly crimes.
Surprisingly funny, intelligent & lovable.
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Knowing
DATE: 03/20/2009 22:50:57
I'd say I wasn't sure which was worse--the CGI or Nicholas Cage's hair--but Cage's hair was actually a little better than usual.
Of all of the awful films I've seen recently, this is the one that wins the distinction of having made me the maddest & most itchin' to walk out.
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Race to Witch Mountain
DATE: 03/18/2009 23:45:58
The Rock's new version of the 70s Disney hit is quite different, and actually I think quite better than anyone has a right to expect.
I suppose it's got its fair share of predictability & cheez, but it's also got action, laughs, tension--and is far more entertaining than the previous three blogged films, combined.
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Miss March
DATE: 03/18/2009 23:36:36
Misfire, is more like it.
Not funny enough, not often enough--and not enough to really keep me awake.
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Watchmen
DATE: 03/17/2009 00:25:55
It's a "too much" movie: too much running time, too much graphic violence, too much of the CGI character's big blue ballz.
Too much of everything--except entertainment value.
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Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li
DATE: 03/10/2009 00:30:05
Someone needs to be shot--let's start with the writers, director, and actors.
And yes, this is even after grading on a sliding scale considering sub-genre.
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Coraline
DATE: 03/10/2009 00:22:33
Wow, well stop-motion animation has come a long way since the Heat Meiser!
Impressive as it may be, this is still creepy as hell.
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Waltz with Bashir
DATE: 03/10/2009 00:14:02
Interesting if not mesmerizing, memories of Israeli/Lebanese conflict are recalled in animated form.
I learned one major thing: if it's animated, graphic sex apparently is no worse than an "R."
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The International
DATE: 03/09/2009 23:59:19
If you'd like to watch the Guggenheim museum get all shot up to bits, this is the film for you.
As for the rest of us, this is nothing more than a bore-fest without resolution.
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Fanboys
DATE: 03/09/2009 23:43:39
Completely wall-to-wall funny--if you know your "Star Wars."
Tragically under-released, but be sure not to miss it on DVD, even if only for the non-stop star cameos.
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Push
DATE: 03/09/2009 23:37:28
I'd like to think no opening was left for a sequel, but I've been proven wrong before.
It's--okay(ish)--but ultimately, most of the entertainment hear lies in hearing The Human Torch speak Cantonese.
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Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
DATE: 02/04/2009 04:30:42
One of the most notably, embarrassingly, groaningly bad films I have seen in recent memory: a spotlight for performances not good enough for soap operas, and too overdressed for gentlemen's home video.
Stricken looks and color contacts take the place of any actual acting, but at least the special effects are amazing-- uh, well--by 1980s video game standards.
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Che (Special Roadshow Edition)
DATE: 02/01/2009 22:39:38
Interesting, but not much in the way of artistic, really--more than anything, it's just kinda like being along for the ride.
And truly: after over four hours in art house cinema seating, you WILL feel as if you've been through a revolution & a half, yourself.
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Taken
DATE: 01/31/2009 14:20:36
So Liam Neeson, who was once upon a time was a little-known Great Actor, apparently really needed the money again--because I can't think of any other reason to make this mess.
I liked this movie a lot better when it was called "Live Free or Die Hard."
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Gran Torino
DATE: 01/29/2009 07:55:33
Eastwood's character may be hard to warm up to--but it's easy enough to take a chill to his family.
The movie's not exactly what I thought it would be, and I liked it a lot more than I thought I would.
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Bride Wars
DATE: 01/26/2009 09:11:28
Wall-to-wall hateful, nasty & awful.
I'd like to be able to say that Anne Hathaway & Candice Bergen rescued the film, but there is absolutely nothing here worth rescuing.
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Inkheart
DATE: 01/23/2009 20:15:45
"Once Upon a Time" gets a little too close for comfort when talented readers can bring characters out of books--and maybe even put you in.
The adaptation is well-done-- maybe not I-gotta-buy-the-DVD stunning, but certainly an enjoyable couple of hours at the movies.
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Defiance
DATE: 01/21/2009 22:28:38
This is the WW2 film that is not Tom Cruise's "Valkyrie"--and that's a very good thing.
And how nice to know that Daniel Craig is not only a great James Bond--he can also ACT!
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Paul Blart: Mall Cop
DATE: 01/20/2009 23:12:35
It's not Art, but it's certainly better than "Yes Man," for whatever that's worth.
Go for the comedy & stunts, stay for the smoov Segway moovs.
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Chandni Chowk to China
DATE: 01/18/2009 10:13:09
It's an Indian kungfu movie, it's the most wacky & hilarious thing to hit mainstream U.S. screens since Stephen Chow's "Kung Fu Hustle," and I'll be buying the DVD the moment it's released.
If not sooner.
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Valkyrie
DATE: 01/17/2009 08:55:39
The dog is cute, but a troublemaker-- and he's dead before the end of the movie.
Oh, wait-- that's "Marley & Me," but the idea here is exactly the same.
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Marley & Me
DATE: 01/12/2009 09:47:13
Stars Owen Wilson & Jenifer Aniston, but I still gotta say it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
The dogs are cute, and Alan Arkin's performance is not to be missed (even if you have to fast-forward through the rest).
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Frost/Nixon
DATE: 01/12/2009 08:54:05
Who knew spending time with Tricky Dick could be so much fun?
With "Milk," another piece of great true-life 70s drama.
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Doubt
DATE: 01/06/2009 10:40:49
Well--did he or didn't he?
If we were to find out for sure, it wouldn't be called "Doubt"--but the amazing performances by Streep and everyone else involved are well worth the frustrated wondering.
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Bedtime Stories
DATE: 01/05/2009 11:26:36
When I saw posters for an Adam Sandler Disney movie, I thought, "this can't be good"-- but I was (surprisingly) wrong.
When I say it's much better & funnier than "Yes Man" and "Four Christamases," you might say, "that's not much," but it is indeed enough.
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Four Christmases
DATE: 01/01/2009 22:39:16
Vince Vaughn & Spoon Spoontherspoon do their skidding careers no favors with this comedy-that-should-have-stuck-to-comedy.
'Tell you what, though--there's something to be learned here about the joys of small families!
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The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
DATE: 12/28/2008 08:47:48
Despite the movie's obvious design to be an Oscar-grabber, it actually rises above all that, and is pretty interesting one-time viewing.
It's all been done before, of course--or did you miss Jonathan Winters as Robin Williams' backward-aging son in "Mork & Mindy?"
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Milk
DATE: 12/23/2008 11:14:51
A thirty-year-old true-life story, amazing how relevant it is today.
The acting, camera work & direction bring a sense of immediacy that left me feeling completely transported.
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Yes Man
DATE: 12/23/2008 10:52:44
It's got its moments, absolutely, and many of them--but if you are asked if you can wait for the video?
Just say, "YES!"
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The Day the Earth Stood Still
DATE: 12/15/2008 12:10:08
On the bright side, Keanu is, like, rully well-cast as an alien.
Unfortunately, it seems the chance for a sequel exists here.
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Transporter 3
DATE: 12/15/2008 12:08:20
Now, why have a “Martial Arts Choreographer” if the quick-cut camera action would allow Regis Philbin to star in the same scene?
Number Three is the same as the others, so you can save some cash by just watching one of those on home video.
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Bolt
DATE: 12/15/2008 12:05:44
Really excellent Disney CGI flick, I gotta go back & see the 3-D version.
As funny as the hamster was in the previews, I think the real stars are the pigeons!
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Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
DATE: 12/15/2008 12:04:31
Funny bits, not as good as the first, and I was hungry again an hour later.
Still better than “Space Chimps.”
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Role Models
DATE: 12/15/2008 12:02:44
If you had to visit high schools all day promoting nasty energy drinks, you’d probably get arrested, too.
Hilarious, and worth repeated viewings.
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The Quantum of Solace
DATE: 11/16/2008 23:52:10
So smart & action packed, you might even forget it’s a James Bond movie!
Well, I wouldn’t go quite that far.
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Pride and Glory
DATE: 11/16/2008 23:44:12
Dirty Cops, Boring Plotline: nothing new in this forever-retread police procedural—just more expensive casting than usual.
If you’ve already seen it, try writing to Norton & Farell to ask for your money back.
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The Other End of the Line
DATE: 11/16/2008 23:41:06
An American guy falls in love with the chick from the bank call center, only to learn his children will be half Indian.
Wait—it’s a fun watch, sure beats a big-screen Disney Channel sequel…
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Zack and Miri Make a Promo
DATE: 11/02/2008 20:32:22
It's pretty funny, but kinda long.
Hehe--that's what she said!
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Golmaal Returns
DATE: 10/31/2008 23:19:12
When I heard this cast of characters was returning, I knew I’d be, too; I remember the 2006 film as being pretty wall-to-wall funny.
You don’t need to have seen the first film--if you like slapstick silly and fun, this is the place.
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Heroes
DATE: 10/31/2008 23:07:41
Well, I guess the first thing I need to state is that this is a Bollywood film, and not the “Hiro-Heroes” from TV.
What began as a war film in about two minutes’ time turned into a sex comedy for two MORE minutes, before ultimately showing its true colors as a soul-searching road trip (with jokes and dancing, of course).
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Roadside Romeo
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:26:12
The first Disney/Bollywood teamup results in a movie that’s in no way Pixar, but in no way impossible to watch.
Hey, at least it’s not “Space Chimps.”
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Max Payne
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:24:35
Semi-stylized crap, I'll spare you the details.
If I'm still sleeping when the sequel comes out, please don't bother waking me.
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Sex Drive
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:20:12
Funny & crude, you probably already know whether you want to see it or not.
Almost hilarious as the side-splitting movie itself was the fact that a couple walked out of the screening within the first five minutes (maybe they thought it sounded like a NOVA special).
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City of Ember
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:18:52
Bill Murray is a hungry mayor of some underground post-apocalyptic world of the future.
I should have read the book.
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W.
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:17:04
The preview had me waiting for a comedy.
The movie itself left me longing for naptime.
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Nick & Nora's Infinite Playlist
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:15:34
Most of the target audience probably doesn’t even know who the original “Nick & Nora” were, but they should enjoy this “night-in-the-life” movie anyhow.
Pretty funny, slightly romantic, & only a bit lame.
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Religulous
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:13:57
Bill Maher goes out in the field to take on world religion.
He’s not as polite as Michael Moore, but the results were hilarious & left me wanting more.
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Lakeview Terrace
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:12:08
Samuel L. Jackson never met a job he wouldn’t take.
The best thing I have to say about this movie is that I am very excited they left no room for a sequel.
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Eagle Eye
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:10:18
Surprise, surprise, the preview was ten times more entertaining than the film itself.
Shia LaBeouf as an action star isn’t working out for me; I say he should be going for the Jason “American Pie” Biggs roles.
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Righteous Kill
DATE: 10/29/2008 11:07:45
A tough cop film starring a pair of former box office golds in their golden years!
DeNiro & Pacino have STILL got it—yeahhhh, just like Lemmon & Matthau in “Grumpier Old Men,” mmm-hmmm.
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Bangkok Dangerous
DATE: 09/14/2008 22:12:03
Nicolas Cage's monotone and bad hair are in hyperdrive in this remake of a film the very same directors made just seven years ago.
Cage's "I'm about to kill" face is the same as his "they're trying to kill me" face is the same as is "gosh, I love her" face, and this plays no small part in a 100-minute film leaving you feeling like you've been put down for close to three hours.
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Burn After Reading
DATE: 09/14/2008 01:12:03
Funny, yes--but not as funny as the preview would suggest, duh.
I've got a double-feature pairing for you: 1986's "Ruthless People."
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Rock On!!
DATE: 09/09/2008 21:22:14
Four rockers rock back and forth ten years in time as we explore their rocky lives.
Dramatic, captivating, funny--and the music actually kinda rocks.
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Death Race
DATE: 09/05/2008 22:03:48
If you can imagine a super-long episode of "Speed Racer" loaded up with gore but robbed of any scant traces of wit, you can imagine this.
What I can't imagine is what formerly-revered actress Joan Allen did to get herself sentenced to this gods-forsaken remake of a Keith Carradine, uh, vehicle.
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Babylon A.D.
DATE: 08/31/2008 01:13:15
If you've been wishing & hoping and waiting for a movie that teams up Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, & Gerard Depardieu, wish & hope & wait no longer--please.
I'm not sure what's more unintelligible: Diesel's speech, or the fact that two huge action stars would have their a**-kicking totally wiped out by jerky, inept, quick-cut camera moves--what a waste.
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Hamlet 2
DATE: 08/30/2008 11:25:21
As much as I loved the preview, I wouldn't have been surprised if the movie was awful.
But it's NOT--I laughed & laughed, enjoying the stupidity, physical comedy & merry blasphemy--and I cannot WAIT for "Hamlet 3!"
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Bottle Shock
DATE: 08/30/2008 11:14:01
Hated the hateful "Sideways," wasn't looking forward to another whiney wine movie.
Boy, was I shocked--hilarious & fun from the very start, even for beer drinkers & abolitionists!
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Mirrors
DATE: 08/26/2008 13:13:11
Kiefer Sutherland and Amy Smart are the latest biggish names to decide horror is cool.
If "cool" now means "witless and overwrought," they are correct.
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Star Wars: The Clone Wars
DATE: 08/26/2008 12:58:42
What George Lucas once treated as his creative outlet, he now treats as his ATM.
Or, hey, maybe you'll enjoy this pasting-together of TV episodes noteworthy for their stiff design & animation worthy of 1960s claymation, snotty teengrrl stereotype as jedi, and the traditional scroll replaced by a recap read by an announcer better suited for gum commercials ("Iiiit's JUICY!").
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The Rocker
DATE: 08/20/2008 18:11:54
So, SO much better than most of the real critics seem to be saying, there are many more laughs per celluloid inch here than in the last several so-called comedies.
No Ferrell, no Stiller--NO PROBLEM.
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Step Brothers
DATE: 08/18/2008 01:49:42
To the untrained eye, this would seem to be double the Will Ferrell: the good news is, there's half as much W.(t.)F. nudity as usual.
I would never recommend seeing this, but if you do--don't bolt the second the credits roll.
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Tropic Thunder
DATE: 08/16/2008 23:14:36
The movie's best moments were those featuring homicidal tots.
That being said, it could have done with A LOT more homicidal tots.
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Henry Poole is Here
DATE: 08/15/2008 17:29:02
When a bleedin' Jesus face shows up in Luke Wilson's stucco, the neighborhood nutjobs come out of the woodwork.
Comedy gold, I'd think--but instead it's turned into a plodding, grating, faux-arthouse suckfest.
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Singh is Kinng
DATE: 08/13/2008 16:32:45
It's sort of like "The Prince & the Pauper," except with sikhs & mobsters, and the "kinng" ends up in a wheelchair.
Not the best, & I'm not even sure why they faked the sikhism at all, except for the cool rhyme--but if you're looking for a Bollywood film that actually features (yes, the REAL) Snoop Dogg, this is your picture.
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The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
DATE: 08/13/2008 16:20:49
Never saw the previous two "Mummy" movies, and I'm not sure I need to see this one a second time, but it could've been worse: it could've been a fourth "Indiana Jones" movie!
I can't understand why a man as young as Brendan Fraser would have a grown archaeologist son--or why the character was even needed--but at least it wasn't Shia LaBouf!
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Pineapple Express
DATE: 08/10/2008 05:10:50
Judd Apatow's turn at a Druggie Buddy Comedy is funny and violent--but actually more violent than funny.
If I had to choose, I'd go with Harold & Kumar (2), hands down.
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Swing Vote
DATE: 08/08/2008 22:51:31
Big screen stars of the 80s meet small screen stars of yesterday & today for a picture that--were it to actually have debuted on the small screen, where it BELONGS--would have a tough time competing for interestingness with the refrigerator.
One saving grace: the role that would normally be played by Abigail Breslin--IS NOT.
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Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na
DATE: 07/30/2008 23:55:59
Jai & Aditi have got true love hiding right under their noses--that they're the only two who don't realize this indicates they must be using that coroner's cream stuff (what is it--VapoRub, Ben-Gay...Butter-Flavor Crisco?).
Mainstream American movie theaters showing Bollywood films need to take the traditional halftime intermission--and it's awfully difficult to follow the subtitles AND fully enjoy all the eye-candy--but all-in-all, this is a fun summer flick.
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The Wackness
DATE: 07/30/2008 23:43:06
A wack 90s life: selling drugs to cover mom & pop's downward mobility, ignored by the hot girl unless the entire high school leaves the city for the summer (which somehow happens), and a hippy-doo Ben Kingsley as shrink and best friend.
Sounds depressingish, but it's got its light moments--and any movie that can make room for a bit of Biz Markie's Greatest Hit has got what I need.
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Space Chimps
DATE: 07/25/2008 15:52:05
Summertime: the kids are off school, and families are open-mouthed hungry for G-rated film entertainment.
And unfortunately for them, along come the Space Chimps, flinging ripe poo.
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Meet Dave
DATE: 07/20/2008 09:39:20
I really enjoyed the "Meet Dave" trailer--it was funny, tightly edited, and thoroughly engaging & enjoyable throughout--I would find it worth a rental.
The movie, uh -- not so much.
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Hellboy II: The Golden Army
DATE: 07/19/2008 09:28:56
Kinda more of a silly comedy than a loud-n-stupid monster battle adventure--hey, if I had known, I wouldn't have had to be dragged into the theater!
The ending is predictable from nearly the beginning, but that's okay in this case--it's the laughter along the way that counts.
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The Dark Knight
DATE: 07/19/2008 09:16:09
Definitely better than the famous series of Batman movies, this second new-and-improved version is impressive, exciting, intense and even scary--maybe actually a little much to watch more than once.
Heath Ledger was indeed awesome; let's not overlook the writer & director's contributions to his role, but his performance was the highlight of the movie.
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Journey to the Center of the Earth
DATE: 07/19/2008 09:10:43
It's a wild, fun ride that would actually make for a wild, fun ride.
Movies made for 3-D can be a huge waste of your precious life, but I loved this even in its 2-D format.
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The Incredible Hulk
DATE: 07/10/2008 01:42:35
Marvel's "do-over" was NOT better than I expected--in fact, the effects and the "real" stuff don't even seem to exist in the same space.
I've seen animation & live action blended together more realistically in cereal commercials.
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Hancock
DATE: 07/07/2008 16:10:41
Like Bamm-Bamm Rubble, he doesn't know his own strength; like Fred Flintstone, he's a grouchy a**hole.
I laughed, I gasped, I made plans to see it again.
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Encounters at the End of the World
DATE: 07/07/2008 15:54:29
I think Werner Herzog's account of his trip to hang out with fellow freaks & geeks at the South Pole should have been presented as an IMAX film.
THOSE are always brief, and at least a little entertaining.
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Wild Ocean 3D (IMAX)
DATE: 07/05/2008 21:15:32
The 3-D is great, and the feeding frenzy is amazing and intense when the incoming sardines are met by dolphins, sea lions, penguins, gulls and--gasp--people!
Lest you be disappointed, two mainstay IMAX cliches remain intact: repeated footage (yawn) at the end, and dramatic scenes accompanied by overly-belabored orchestral music (geographical contexted b 'damned).
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Mongol
DATE: 07/05/2008 10:07:34
L'il Genghis Khan--a guy you can really get behind (and even that's not a safe place when he's cheezed off)!
Violent, yeahhhh, but it's so stylized that it at no point gets in the way of the fact there's also an actual STORY!
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Wanted
DATE: 07/05/2008 10:00:07
So continuosly violent & action-packed, it's completely BORING.
And, if I may ask: has that Morgan Freeman ever--EVER--seen a script he wouldn't accept?!?
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WALL-E
DATE: 07/05/2008 09:56:41
My "ONE WORD" movie review would have to be "WOW."
The best from Pixar yet, funny & cool & amazing, a real Oscar contender, along with Kung-Fu Panda.
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The Love Guru
DATE: 07/05/2008 09:51:27
In movies starring Mike Myers, my best possible rating is "It's Better Than I Expected."
And it was, and it was better than the real critics say, and the fact is--I'd watch it again.
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Get Smart
DATE: 07/05/2008 09:46:25
In movies starring Steve Carrell, my best possible rating is "It's Better Than I Expected."
And it was, and it was better than the real critics say, and the fact is--I'd watch it again.
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Kung Fu Panda
DATE: 06/15/2008 09:24:16
Uhhhmm---WOW!
Great animation, great action, great comedy, a great surprise--easily the best Dreamworks movie I've ever seen.
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The Happening
DATE: 06/15/2008 09:19:07
What a stupid, wasteful, insipid, crappy, listless, lifeless, artless, joyless, fun-less, reckless, brainless, directionless, endlessk--have I mentioned STUPID, yet?--structureless mess.
Shame on all these biggish names for making it, & shame on me for seeing it; I feel dirty (or maybe just downright BORED).
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Bleach: Memories of Nobody
DATE: 06/15/2008 09:08:32
Another two-night-only fan event, this big-screen version of the popular TV series is OKAY, though certainly not overly artistic or inspired.
It DID have one wonderful thing going for it, though: it made me want to rewatch all of Hayao Miyazaki's artistic, inspired films.
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You Don't Mess with the Zohan
DATE: 06/11/2008 22:46:29
In his lastest motion picture, Adam Sandler has finally managed to do what none of his previous efforts could quite pull off: he has offended this viewer's Liberal Sensibilities.
If his whole package were to be put on the scales, his underinflated funny bits would by no means come close to outweighing the ethnic slams, let alone meritting a single viewing, even on home video.
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Indiana Jones and the Blahblahblahblahblah
DATE: 06/10/2008 22:33:37
Twenty years later, Ford & company are back to milk the ca$h cow (at least) one more time.
Silly as hell, and twice as unnecessary--but at least no one breaks a hip.
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Jodhaa Akbar
DATE: 06/06/2008 00:34:23
Three and a half hours of cool & exciting--one of the best (and longest) Bollywood films I can remember seeing.
Get your restroom trip out of the way, settle in with some caffeine, and whatever you do: don't miss the husband-wife swordfight!
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Krazzy 4
DATE: 05/23/2008 12:57:32
The madcap adventures of four mental patients on the loose--you know if this were a mainstream American release rather than a Bollywood production, the PC protests would be more rampant than this band of looneys!
The characters are heroic, and the movie is colorful & wacky & fast-paced--and surprisingly, runs only two hours with intermission (a genre rarity)!
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Death Note
DATE: 05/21/2008 23:22:26
The CGI character stuck out a little bit--but blended in far better than, say, The Hulk!
A 2-night-only "event" screening, & too bad, because this manga adaptation was more exciting and compelling than a good deal of what hangs in for two MONTHS or more.
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Son of Rambow
DATE: 05/10/2008 19:35:37
Cooler, funnier, & yeah, even more imaginative than "Speed Racer"--and better still, SHORTER!
Better than most kid-centered movies around, probably because it's made for adults.
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Speed Racer
DATE: 05/10/2008 04:45:00
If "Speed Racer" overdoes anything--well, it overdoes everything.
Cutting the runtime by about 45 minutes would be a good idea--heck, if the movie were any longer, I'd have to expand my format to THREE sentences!
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Iron Man
DATE: 05/08/2008 16:28:56
A man, a plan, a can -- and SO much better than Superman!
Or any other SuperFlick, I think--and staying until the end of the credits is a MUST.
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Forgetting Sarah Marshall
DATE: 05/08/2008 16:23:24
OMG, I actually did a "spit take."
Hilarious from beginning to end (which, uh, we do see a lot more of than the front side).
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Made of Honor
DATE: 05/03/2008 15:51:17
The bride's fiancee is a duke--and a rather large one, at that.
What a coinkee-dink-- this movie is a rather large "duke!"
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Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
DATE: 04/27/2008 19:11:40
Like "The Fugitive" played for big laffs, Harold & Kumar's return features a race from misinformed lawmen to clear their, uh "good" names.
Funnier, smarter, nastier, cartoonier, and all-around better than the original--I can't wait for #3!
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Deal
DATE: 04/27/2008 09:50:32
If you were looking for a gambling movie of far lower quality than even “21,” you’ve hit the jackpot.
Even Burt Reynolds' black wig can’t cover up that fact.
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Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?
DATE: 04/27/2008 09:40:14
"Super Size Me" guy Morgan Spurlock heads off to the Middle East, & actually asks common people if they know where Bin Laden is.
If he finds the guy, will our government sanction the ultimate act of terror--to force him to eat only McDonald's for a full month??
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La Misma Luna / Under the Same Moon
DATE: 04/27/2008 09:25:44
Boy faces more dangers than “Frogger” trying to make his way from Mexico to reunite with his mother in L.A.
And this young actor’s natural talents sock it in the face of most child stars out there today, actually.
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Forbidden Kingdom
DATE: 04/27/2008 09:15:22
Jackie Chan & Jet Li work together for the first time—and get stuck in some sorry-ass “Karate Kid” ripoff.
If I want to see something totally whitewashed, I’ll read “Tom Sawyer,” thanks.
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The Ruins
DATE: 04/27/2008 09:07:49
Of course, we KNEW that when these nice white kids went to the off-limits pyramid, they’d be, oh, DYING!
What kills ME is, I thought this is one of the most entertaining so-called horror movies I’ve ever been subjected to!
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Sea Monsters: A Prehistoric Adventure (IMAX)
DATE: 04/27/2008 09:04:00
Sort of a "Swimming with Dinosaurs," recreating the things that prowled the sea that once split North America in two.
Cool creatures, and it gave me an idea--wouldn't most big studio releases be better if they only ran 40 minutes?
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Nim's Island
DATE: 04/11/2008 08:26:18
Jodie Foster slums it in paradise, still managing to be great personally though surrounded by plot holes, bad CGI, and a script that the original book's author may well feel compelled to avenge.
I can see no other reason for her to make this movie--other than possibly her kids wanting to see her do some crappy "family film."
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Married Life
DATE: 04/11/2008 08:13:01
It sounded funny--the whole "divorce would kill her, so instead of divorcing her--I'll kill her" angle.
The entire promise of the film--wit, mayhem, pathos--was left in the plot synopsis, the finished product never eliciting more than the rare (not-painful) chuckle.
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Leatherheads
DATE: 04/06/2008 19:01:18
Beta-version football is played for comedy, 1920's style--and there are a lot of great laughs.
The only thing that nearly ruins it is the tragically miscast Renee Zellweger, who is not even close to being up to the challenge in terms of either talent or looks.
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Run Fat Boy Run
DATE: 03/31/2008 13:12:47
Some really funny parts here, and lots more potential--if they'd just dumped the lame, trite, predictable storyline.
Yes, I just said the movie would've been better without the story.
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21
DATE: 03/29/2008 18:22:18
Accents pop in & out, some characters remain horribly undeveloped, and in the end it's a little hard to care about any of them.
But other than that, yes, I DID actually enjoy the play!
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Superhero Movie
DATE: 03/29/2008 01:48:39
Leslie Nielson plays the Uncle Ben role in a parody that often goes frame-for-frame with the original "Spider-Man."
Funny at times, yes, and perhaps worth a single viewing--but definitely several years past its optimal release date.
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Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
DATE: 03/25/2008 15:45:30
Sane, but poor, Angela Bassett meets her poor insane family.
I like the movie, but I think it would've been best off if Mr. Perry has stayed out of the dress for once.
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Shutter
DATE: 03/25/2008 15:37:41
Killer ghost goes for revenge.
The wailing sound you hear is actually me yawning.
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Horton Hears a Who
DATE: 03/25/2008 15:24:11
The classic problem--taking a short, simple book, & turning it into a 90 minute movie.
The solution, of course, was that they (and I am not kidding) created a GOTH Dr. Seuss character.
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10,000 B.C.
DATE: 03/25/2008 15:16:01
Watching bad movies is apparently my HOBBY-- but even I couldn't sit through this.
The filmmakers should be clubbed.
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Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
DATE: 03/25/2008 15:10:42
Dowdy old poor lady plays Mary Poppins to a slutty actress, makes everything okay.
We got some starlet types around here that could USE this lady!
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The Spiderwick Chronicles
DATE: 03/25/2008 15:05:03
I don't go in much for "magical creature" movies, but this one was very fun to watch, worth the time.
Kind of sad, though, to see hot Mary-Louise Parker turned into the Dee-Wallace-in-E.T. clueless mother role...
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Semi-Pro
DATE: 03/25/2008 14:58:32
Will Ferrell appears shirtless again, in a movie that's not as bad as it could have been.
Which seems to be my top review for a W(t)F movie: "Not as bad as it COULD have been."
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The Other Boleyn Girl
DATE: 03/25/2008 14:53:14
Pimps 'n' Hos, Ye Olde English style, with not a character in sight worthy of one's sympathy--and they treat a well-known historical fact as a surprise ending.
I'd rather see Spider-Man's girlfriend play Marie Antoinette again.
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CJ7
DATE: 03/08/2008 19:32:02
There's no way I could hate a Stephen Chow movie, but this is certainly neither as consistent nor as tight as "Shaolin Soccer" or "Kung Fu Hustle."
CJ7 does have its moments of hilarity, though, and the alien is cute and the actress who plays Chow's son (yeh, you heard right) is a gifted physical comedian.
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Charlie Bartlett
DATE: 02/29/2008 23:36:41
The movie's being talked up as if it's some seance recalling the John Hughes emo teenflicks of the 80's.
PLEASE tell me those movies were a whole lot more--Y A W N--entertaining than this!
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The Band's Visit
DATE: 02/25/2008 22:30:42
Oh, no--a case where the trailer was for a comedy, but the film turned out to be a melancholy drama (with a few funny bits).
Might've actually enjoyed it if they didn't make me expect something so different.
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Vantage Point
DATE: 02/25/2008 13:36:26
The same story, told about a kajillion times.
‘Cause if they told it once straight through, you’d realize how damn dull it all is.
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Be Kind Rewind
DATE: 02/25/2008 13:29:06
Jack Black, Mos Def, Danny Glover, Sigourney Weaver: the perfect cast for a movie that doesn’t seem to know what it wants to be--a movie that is hard to love, but impossible to hate.
The most funny bits were the made-up verb, and Def’s Morgan Freeman impression, which alone is worth the price of admission.
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Definitely, Maybe
DATE: 02/25/2008 13:21:53
A movie with Ryan Reynolds as the father of a little girl who wants to know who her mother is—could be MUCH crasser, but could be much better without the kid stuff.
And anyhow—how do two such good-looking people end up with a daughter who looks like a Li’l Linda Hunt??
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Jumper
DATE: 02/25/2008 13:16:00
We already know that a movie can manage to be entertaining even with Hayden Christensen’s lack of mad acting skillz—and this movie does manage to be entertaining.
It would have been better still if they had gone all-out, and not set things up so thoroughly for a sequel.
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Meet the Spartans
DATE: 01/29/2008 17:45:35
The few split-seconds of hilarity are not enough to counteract the long stretches of poorly-executed, skill-less, over-obvious, yawn-worthy and just plain unfunny badness that could have been better written & performed by a high school cast.
And I say this with all due respect to the great Carmen Electra, of COURSE.
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Michael Clayton
DATE: 01/29/2008 17:33:23
Goes from "what just happened here?" to mystery/chase, to "who's who and on whose side--?" scenarios at a brisk pace--offering no mercy for those of weak bladder.
I'm 90% sure I strung it all together okay, & 98.7% sure I'd recommend it!
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Mad Money
DATE: 01/29/2008 17:23:06
I can tell you in one sentence that the movie was not all that funny, and the ending was preposterous.
Sentence two is for whining about the kid in front of me who was dragged there & not enjoying it, and the two gum-popping wastes of carbon behind me who were fantasizing aloud about committing the crimes themselves--as if talking during the movie is not crime ENOUGH!!!
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Persepolis
DATE: 01/22/2008 20:55:56
The sub-Dilbert art of the graphic novel gets largely enhanced, the strong narrative, humor & message stay largely intact.
A great experience--worth a drive to see it, worth reading the subtitles, and very worthy of the Oscar nomination it's received.
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The Bucket List
DATE: 01/18/2008 21:43:35
I don't get it--is it a comedy that's not funny, or a drama not worth caring about?
If you happen to find out you're terminal, don't waste precious moments on these lifeless Grumpy Old Men.
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The Savages
DATE: 01/01/2008 21:10:58
Despite a talented cast, not funny, not touching, not engaging, not a single character to give a half a damn about.
And certainly not worth the time, money or effort spent to see it.
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The Great Debaters
DATE: 01/01/2008 20:55:04
A touch of Stand & Deliver/Lean on Me inspirational teacher drama, plus some romance, all wrapped around the frustrations & heartbreak of the pre-Civil Rights South--recommended!
But, hoo-boy, isn't Ryan O'Neal something straight outta Deliverance!
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The Kite Runner
DATE: 12/31/2007 23:22:51
Like a great, entertaining, touching book (oddly enough) I couldn't put down.
The movie is so good--I don't know how it ever even got made.
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P.S. I Love You
DATE: 12/30/2007 08:32:38
Sweet, sweet, sweet.
ODDLY sweet, considering that the likeable character is killed off, and it's his mean, angry, mannish and utterly unlikeable spouse who is the focus of the story.
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Alien vs. Predator: Requiem
DATE: 12/28/2007 12:33:57
About as much fun as watching someone else play video games for two hours--but a lot more predictable (of COURSE the girl in the bra gets it).
As far as rubber-suited cheezfests go, the Godzilla series is a lot more fun.
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Juno
DATE: 12/25/2007 23:56:27
You'd think a movie starring Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman, a kid from "Superbad" and J. Jonah Jameson from "Spider-Man" would be subtitled "Avoid at All Costs," but you'd be wrong.
Despite a soundtrack of folksy songs with stoooopid lyrics, "Juno" is SuperFunny, and great, and sure to be taking home some awards this year.
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National Treasure: Book of Secrets
DATE: 12/22/2007 09:17:25
Nicholas Cage's hair is as mystifying as ever in this sequel that seems to aspire no further than to possibly offer a redesign for Disneyland's Indiana Jones Ride.
There was actually one HUGE highlight of the movie: the new Goofy cartoon that preceded it!
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Charlie Wilson's War
DATE: 12/22/2007 09:10:05
Hmmm--big-name actors in an embellished account of the 80's leadup to our present relationship with Afghanistan-- played for comedy!
Not all that great--but not all that bad--but ultimately, not all that memorable.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Golden Compass
DATE: 12/20/2007 23:59:43
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Talking polar bears, wacky witches, and a typical appearance by Sam Elliott as yet another cowpoke with no top lip--I did not want to see this movie.
The calls for a boycott made me reach for my wallet, though--and all things considered, not such a bad movie at all (can't wait to read the book, thanks for the rec)!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Alvin & the Chipmunks
DATE: 12/17/2007 17:00:28
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Not as good as the 60's toon no one remembers, and about an hour too long--but coulda been far worse (it's a far better movie than "I Am Legend," for instance).
Any low-level affection for the characters & music aside, all of these "family films" that put in sooo much poo-poo "humor" can't help but turn out, well, crappy.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: I Am Legend
DATE: 12/16/2007 10:01:26
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Alternate Title: I Am Another Damn Vampire Movie.
Just when you're going along, enjoying the special relationship between a lonely man & his dog, everything goes all "Buffy" on you, deserving a special mention above all of the other crappy movies in the gigaplex.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: This Christmas
DATE: 12/03/2007 15:23:01
STATUS: publish
BODY:
It's the anti-"Dan in Real Life": wheras the Steve Carrell calamity is a ringing endorsement for birth control and family dissolution, this version of the "drama at the family reunion" theme makes the idea of a nuclear family palatable again.
And even if you don't watch it, you should at least go out & buy the soundtrack.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Enchanted
DATE: 12/03/2007 15:14:21
STATUS: publish
BODY:
I was very, very worried, of course--but there's evidence here that Disney is still capable of returning to great classically-animated movies.
The worst part was the ripe-cheesy lyrics, but it would seem they were MEANT to be bad, which is a huge relief!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Fred Claus
DATE: 12/03/2007 15:10:40
STATUS: publish
BODY:
The motion picture that finally --FINALLY-- answers the question we've all been asking since holiday movies were invented: what would happen if Vince Vaughan were Santa's older brother?
The answer, apparently, is that his mother would be Kathy Bates, the poor bearded sap (uh, Santa, not Bates).
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Lust, Caution
DATE: 11/11/2007 18:37:29
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Ang Lee's latest shows us that Japan-occupied China was an oppressed, dangerous place--but the sex was still hot, hot, hot!
To be serious, the film is artistic, beautiful & sad; it entertains while also making me want to learn more historical details.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Bee Movie
DATE: 11/04/2007 22:23:21
STATUS: publish
BODY:
ANOTHER animated bug movie--Dreamworks' 2nd, by my count--this time from the mind of famous esteemed children's entertainer Jerry Seinfeld (?!?).
Not a classic, but CUTE (and yeah, I always mean that adjective in the perjorative sense)!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Martian Child
DATE: 11/04/2007 22:16:49
STATUS: publish
BODY:
The perfect match: a sci-fi writer adopts a a little Martian boy!
It's a comedy, it's a drama, it's a little touching--a nice little one-time view--but ultimately, you may just pine for the days when John Cusack was thrusting that boombox over his head.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Lars and the Real Girl
DATE: 11/03/2007 19:11:09
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Wow, who knew a movie about a man and his love doll would be so sensitive, touching (but not in THAT way), and funny (but not in a laughing AT kinda way)?
Hey, and can you just imagine the DVD outtakes?
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Dan in Real Life
DATE: 11/03/2007 19:06:37
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Heavy on the B-movie actors, lite on the laffs, and definitely more uncomfortable than enriching.
ONE good thing: it made me muy grateful not to be from a huge family--whew!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: 30 Days of Night
DATE: 10/24/2007 22:36:18
STATUS: publish
BODY:
It's a vampire movie.
A really poorly-done, predictable-as-heck, laughable, ugly vampire movie.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Heartbreak Kid
DATE: 10/24/2007 22:33:28
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Hmm, Ben Stiller plays the Charles Grodin role in the sexed-up remake of some old movie no one's ever heard of.
I thought the leads were generally supposed to get better-looking and funnier.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Game Plan
DATE: 10/24/2007 22:30:23
STATUS: publish
BODY:
"The Rock" continues morphing into Dwayne Johnson in this clasically pudding-headed standard-issue but (but good enough for the genre) Disney "family" movie.
But if they want to show his comedy skillz, and his heart, why was the first glance at him one of his nipple rather than his face?
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Good Luck Chuck
DATE: 09/30/2007 09:16:38
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Jessica Alba, so laughably, dreadfully miscast in the Fantastic Four movies (then again, who wasn't?), here shows herself to be a cute, likeable romantic comedy lead.
In sharp contrast to Dane Cook.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Brave One
DATE: 09/30/2007 09:02:11
STATUS: publish
BODY:
It's a Jodie Foster movie, and Jodie Foster is an amazing actress (not that I'm rushing out to rent "Maverick," mind you).
There--2 Sentences!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Death at a Funeral
DATE: 09/16/2007 20:26:30
STATUS: publish
BODY:
So apparently, Frank "Miss Piggy" Oz, the somewhat acclaimed director of such comedic semi-hits as "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" and "Little Shop of Horrors," decided to take a break from the realm of comedy so as not to be pigeonholed.
Gay midgets aside, this tired, dirivitive retreaded bore of a pseudo-British drawing room farce demonstrates that Oz does not feel ready to return to comedy quite yet.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Hurricane on the Bayou
DATE: 09/16/2007 20:00:59
STATUS: publish
BODY:
It's about Hurrican Katrina, but it's not JUST about Hurricane Katrina.
Even this smart*ss enjoyed the portrait of the music, culture, and wildlife of New Orleans and the surrounding area.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Last Legion
DATE: 09/05/2007 01:11:25
STATUS: publish
BODY:
A classic-style Roman-ish epic, with heart and several flashes of true wit--so what's not to like?
It sure doesn't hurt to have Bollywood goddess Aishwarya Rai adding to the fun, in the kickass Michelle Yeoh role!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Nanny Diaries
DATE: 09/03/2007 17:51:34
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Demonizing portrait of the kind of rich parents who hire fulltime nannies so they don't have to be "bothered" with their own children (the less-rich parents simply install DVD players in their minivans).
Obviously goes for a "Devil Wears Prada" vibe; just as obviously doesn't hit those high notes.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Mr. Bean's Holiday
DATE: 09/02/2007 22:07:18
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Often hilarious, lowbrow but innocent live-action cartoon fun.
My favorite part was when Bean lifts an outhouse from the inside and walks into a highway--if that tells you anything.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Balls of Fury
DATE: 08/30/2007 11:18:52
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Not half as wretched as I had expected, but still utterly dumb & near-humorless.
Of course, if you saw the preview and choose to see it, you really don't care what I think.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Superbad
DATE: 08/28/2007 10:00:21
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Worth seeing for "Mclovin" alone, there are many funny moment, but also plenty of slow spots.
Between this & the other recent movie from Judd Apatow & Seth Rogen, I definitely give "Knocked Up" the star rating.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Arctic Tale
DATE: 08/25/2007 12:39:36
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Sort of "An Inconvenient Truth" for the younger (or ADD, yeah you know me) set, by the "March of the Penguins" folks, but set on the opposite pole.
Posters make this look like it's computer-generated; it's actually an old-schoo filmed nature documentary--and a good one, too, if you're into that kinda thing.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Invasion
DATE: 08/18/2007 09:57:16
STATUS: publish
BODY:
That big names like Nicole Kidman & Daniel Craig would participate in a space zombie remake just proves there is something in the water in Hollywood.
The familiar faces are the only things separating this from something ready-made for USA Up All Night or MST3K.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Stardust
DATE: 08/16/2007 00:00:58
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Interesting--it starts out with an illicit tryst & an illegitimate birth, and by the halfway point, we see the Raging Bull charging blithely down Castro Street!
An unexpected surprise--it's not "The Princess Bride," but these two would make a great double feature!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Underdog
DATE: 08/14/2007 22:56:25
STATUS: publish
BODY:
James Belushi is back on the big screen, once again playing a cop with a cute & heroic dog--this time in a reimagined version of the sorry-@ss 60's toon with the cool theme song.
The result will be best enjoyed by drunk people and Marmaduke fans.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Rush Hour 3
DATE: 08/12/2007 23:17:42
STATUS: publish
BODY:
The good news is that if you are on short on time, you can arrive 15 minutes before the ending of the picture and feel like you haven't missed anything.
Maybe with number 4, they can hone that number down to 5 minutes.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Who's Your Caddy
DATE: 08/07/2007 18:11:01
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Caddyshack, remade without the gopher--which I wouldn't call a bad thing.
That it costars Jeffrey Jones is your first clue this may not be an art film--but it's still pretty funny throughout, uh pretty much.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Bourne Ultimatum
DATE: 08/07/2007 18:05:54
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Holy Cats, but it took a long time and a lot of movies to basically tell one story.
The bad news is that it is difficult to distinguish one movie from another, and the worse news is we can't even be certain it's over yet!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Simpsons Movie
DATE: 08/07/2007 17:46:00
STATUS: publish
BODY:
What friends told me is true--it's just like an extra-long episode of the TV show--but with a cussing Marge, a drug-using bus driver...and Little Bart.
Thank you, I think I might come again.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: No Reservations
DATE: 08/07/2007 17:40:50
STATUS: publish
BODY:
The best thing I can say about this latest restaurant-based movie is that it's better than "Waitress"--but that's not saying much.
So bland & unappetizing, I'd say it's a big no on seeing it in the theater, no on renting, and mmmmaybe if it's showing on an airplane & you cannot sleep.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Interview
DATE: 07/28/2007 00:17:16
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Steve Buscemi directs & stars as a hack political columnist forced to conduct a celebrity interivew--think of a Lindsay Lohan type, but with a modicum of looks, talent & brains.
Funny, thought-provoking, and ultimately as pointless as anything else out there.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Talk to Me
DATE: 07/23/2007 23:59:23
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Don Cheadle turns in a 4-Star performance (so what else is new) as a real-life D.C. ex-con turned radio d.j.
Better still, everyone on hand turns in an excellent performance, and the result is funny, touching, interesting--and well worth the price of admission.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry
DATE: 07/20/2007 23:27:09
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Interesting (and cringe-worthy) how a movie that floats such a progressive view toward sexuality also trots out Rob Schneider in a 50's-era white-man-playing-Asian-transposing-L's-and-R's sterotype.
It was an otherwise pretty funny movie, but I would have rather--eek--seen Adam Sandler & Kevin James tongue kissing topless than be exposed to this outdated, unamusing crap.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Live Free or Die Harder with a Vengeance
DATE: 07/15/2007 22:51:21
STATUS: publish
BODY:
A lot like the Transformers movie, but here starring"Optimus Past His Prime!"
No, actually a fun, exciting flick, and B-Willis is great--even though we don't exactly wonder whether his character will survive to the end...
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Harry Potter & The Order of the Phoenix
DATE: 07/13/2007 22:30:44
STATUS: publish
BODY:
The CGI centaurs still look like they walked out of a video arcade, but otherwise this is full of thrills & laughs (if not contemplation & character development.
I do think they'd better film the final two movies immediately and back-to-back, because the actors are already looking (wheeze) quite older than the characters they play.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Once
DATE: 07/11/2007 22:46:36
STATUS: publish
BODY:
This is more or less a nonstop music video for folks who enjoy whiney Irish pop.
Taken as a movie--well, I don't advise operating heavy machinery while it's on.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: 1408
DATE: 07/09/2007 01:17:43
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Now, of course John Cusack doesn't die (he's John Cusack, after all), but you'd think if hotel manager Samuel L. Jackson tells you the room is f***ing evil, you'd listen, right!?
I'll say this, the filmmakers do have my sense of humor: the signal that True Evil is about to ensue is the menacing music of Karen Carpenter!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Apne
DATE: 07/08/2007 18:43:19
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Hmm, turns out it's a boxing movie, and one with something "Rocky" could have used-- subtitles.
Even though it is somewhat--somewhat--less predictable than your typical sports film, and much more colorful (due to the setting), it's still about 45 minutes too long for its own good.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: License to Wed
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:58:27
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Q: What do you get when you take a weak, unfunny tepid "comedy" unworthy of the Lifetime Channel, and slap in Robin Williams?
A: A weak, unfunny tepid "comedy" unworthy of the Lifetime Channel, with Robin Williams slapped in.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Transformers
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:55:13
STATUS: publish
BODY:
The toys are back in town, with a big huge loud rock-your-ears-out aliens attack movie (and a Mechagodzilla meets Herbie the Lovebug subplot) ripped straight out of the 90s.
And that kind of thing went over just great with the audience of 80s kids in the preview showing I saw.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Paprika
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:50:52
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Satoshi Kon follows up his "Tokyo Godfathers" and "Millennium Actress" with an animated feature that is artistic, imaginative, original, shocking and confusing.
Which is no way saying I enjoyed sitting through it.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Ratatouille
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:47:31
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Pixar has gone from its worst ("Cars") to its best with an amazing work that hits all the right notes technically and artistically--it's beautiful, funny and amazing.
Be sure to get to the theater on time so you can see the Pixar short--an expose on a failed alien abduction that is not to be missed!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Sicko
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:41:35
STATUS: publish
BODY:
It's being called Michael Moore's most balanced film, and it is good, and enlightening, and moving.
Heck, it makes ME want to move!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: DOA: Dead or Alive
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:38:29
STATUS: publish
BODY:
As a movie made from a video game, it's successful--dumb fun, but entertaining, with eye candy live action "graphics" and the feeling of actually being in a game while it's being played.
I can barely wait for the big-screen treatment of "Pong."
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Nancy Drew
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:34:36
STATUS: publish
BODY:
This could have been bad, very bad, awful, unbearable, or funny in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way.
It succeeds in being the latter, a little Scooby, and worthy of kicking off its own franchise!
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Surf's Up
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:29:45
Hey, it's an animated penguin movie without sterotypical dialects by Robin Williams, or stupidly excessively ham-handed messages, or twenty musical numbers beyond "that's charming," or penguins who grow up but keep their childish fuzz (a la Wacko Jacko).
This is more like it--sign me up for a sequel!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Shrek the Third
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:14:49
STATUS: publish
BODY:
I'd say this one is better than the second, and maybe even better than the first, due to the now-gone preoccupation with slamming their former oppressors over at Disney.
Now, can all these brilliant minds please get to work on something original?
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Evan Almighty
DATE: 07/03/2007 23:07:13
STATUS: publish
BODY:
I say it’s a humorless attempt at comedy more comparable to the worst of the George Burns “Oh God” hit-you-over-the-head-with-a-religious-message movies than the laugh-loaded Jim Carrey film from which it is supposedly spun.
My kid (always more succinct) says it’s worse than the Disney “Country Bears” movie.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
DATE: 07/03/2007 22:55:21
STATUS: publish
BODY:
I didn’t see the first two “Pirates” movies, but since I’ve been on the ride scores of times, I was pretty sure I knew how it would all end.
Hmm--nope, no gift shop!
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:54:49
STATUS: publish
BODY:
What a miscast piece of stinky cheese.
I mean, cast a bleached, color-contact'd Jessica Alba as a scientist, hoping that when she wears glasses (but still doesn't act) we can buy her as smart?!?
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Ocean's 13
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:49:50
STATUS: publish
BODY:
If you haven't seen the previous twelve, there's no need to worry.
The rest of us are just as confused as you are.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Fool N Final
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:47:03
STATUS: publish
BODY:
It's a comedy, it's a crime caper, it's a stuntmens' showcase.
It's fun n foolish.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Shootout at Lokhandwala:Based on True Rumours
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:44:12
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Fighting crime & terrorists can be hard on one's family life.
But if you don't care, there's enough action & blood to make you forget.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Knocked Up
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:37:02
STATUS: publish
BODY:
From the preview, I was expecting not much, but I found a new favorite.
It's very stupid, it's equally smart, and several times as funny--a real can't-miss comedy.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Bug
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:33:40
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Take two upper mid-tier actors (Ashley Judd & Harry Connick, Jr.), a plot that involves a single room and obviously nothing much more than impending psychosis, and market the whole thing as a horror movie.
To quote the guy in the back of my theatre, "Boo! Hella Boo!"
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Cheeni Kum (Less Sugar)
DATE: 07/03/2007 17:27:00
STATUS: publish
BODY:
A restaurant-based story with everything "Waitress" lacks: beauty, humor, likable characters, and a plot, to name a few.
Better than your average May-December romance.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: Waitress
DATE: 05/25/2007 16:37:36
STATUS: publish
BODY:
Overly-long portrait of a mentally ill pie maker and the nasty people all around her is leavened only by a great appearance by Matlock as the pie shop's owner.
If the question is whether "Waitress" would've been getting such great word of mouth had the filmmaker NOT been murdered--the answer is a most definite NO.
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AUTHOR: messagesforjohn
TITLE: The Invisible
DATE: 05/23/2007 15:25:53
STATUS: publish
BODY:
You take away the overly-long setup, the cartoony stock-character adults, the tiringly plodding storyline, and the fact that we all know how it will end—and all you’ve got left is a decent soundtrack.
Not even worth a rental.
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Spider-Man 3
DATE: 05/20/2007 21:24:30
Two things are certain: Tobey Maguire should have stayed out of that piano bar, and Kirsten Dunst should have had that dishwater-weak singing voice MarnieNixonized.
A third thing: they all should have stuck with ONE, WELL-DEVELOPED, plotline.
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Provoked: A True Story
DATE: 05/20/2007 21:17:36
Ultimately, this international burning bed story comes off like a Lifetime Channel movie.
And still, I gotta admit I mostly enjoyed it.
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The Valet
DATE: 05/06/2007 00:30:15
A GREAT comedy--if judged by the cheap-n-trashy sitcom standards of a TV movie on Comedy Central or USA.
It's French, though--so pretentious snobs everywhere are laughing their haughty tails off.
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Ta Ra Rum Pum
DATE: 05/06/2007 00:25:21
A racing-themed movie with much more excitement, drama, fun & emotion than "Cars."
And better still--none of the vehicles spoke.
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Perfect Stranger
DATE: 05/06/2007 00:20:18
My verdict would be that it's better than its preview, but is ultimately forgettable.
Seriously, though--I can barely even remember having seen it.
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Kickin' It Old Skool
DATE: 05/02/2007 23:53:50
Worried as I was to see the producers didn't let critics see it before it opened, this movie was much, much funnier than I could have even hoped.
So funny, my friend had to take a potty break--wow!
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Blades of Glory
DATE: 04/26/2007 17:50:41
Will Ferrell take an already laughable phenomenon—figure skating—and somehow, SOMEHOW finds a way to make it not-all-that funny after all.
I’d still be willing to see Adam Sandler’s take on it, though.
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Reign Over Me
DATE: 04/26/2007 17:43:38
Don Cheadle babysits a post-traumatic Adam Sandler in this (intentionally) mostly non-comedy.
It’s okay, but with a cast like this, I sure wish they’d tried harder, concept & script-wise.
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The Last Mimzy
DATE: 04/02/2007 16:19:33
This film has got everything--overwrought acting, cheesy music, washed-out colors and cheap lousy stupid writing--that take the viewer right back to the (deservedly) long-ago days of "The ABC After School Special."
And to top it off, its name sounds like a cuter moniker for a very bad smell.
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Meet the Robinsons
DATE: 04/02/2007 16:12:30
Disney gets its groove back--and without Pixar.
This consistently funny & exciting compu-mation is better than all of the last round of well-known animated award nominees--COMBINED.
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TMNT
DATE: 04/02/2007 16:07:32
A lot of money went into this movie--not into the incomprehensible plot (something about an ancient warlord with stone genitals), or the Barbie-video-quality animation--but to the pricey actors (Patrick Stewart, Ziyi Zhang, Laurence Fishburne & Sarah Michelle Gellar) paid off to bear the burden of the dialogue.
All this silliness aside, though--I still liked it a whole lot better than "Cars."
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The Namesake
DATE: 04/02/2007 15:55:23
Kal "Kumar" Penn is still funny--but showing some serious range--as the child of Indian immigrants trying to shed his "goofy" name.
The rare film that I enjoyed so much that: 1) I headed to the bookstore right away to buy the original novel; 2) had the urge to call a travel agent.
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I Think I Love My Wife
DATE: 04/02/2007 15:49:51
Chris Rock is funny, funny, funny--but the the truths are too true, and the constant appearances of the Potential Other Woman (POW!) become very uncomfortable very soon.
And why is it that in these infidelity movies, the wife is always sooo much better-looking than the other woman?
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Hat Trick
DATE: 03/20/2007 00:12:29
Three stories loosely based around the Cricket World Cup--nothing to flip your lid over.
The failure to deliver was due to the abundance of melodrama weighing down a comedy-sized frame -- but there's enough fun & enjoyment here to at least merit a rental.
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Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd.
DATE: 03/19/2007 18:51:52
Wow--a Bollywood movie that 1) clocks in at a mere two hours; and 2) has actual kissing!
There are other--maybe bigger--surprises, but I won't spoil them; just go (whether you've done Bollywood before or not) for a fun comedy with a great message.
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Wild Hogs
DATE: 03/19/2007 18:21:26
Now, it's one thing for Tim Allen to make a Tim Allen movie, but what the heck is going on with John Travolta's career that he's riding this hog?
And on the topic of downward trajectories, also of note in this inoffensive piece of fluff is the latest stop in Ray Liotta's career spiral.
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Norbit
DATE: 03/06/2007 22:06:45
Fresh off of his Oscar-nominated performance in “Dream Girls,” Eddie Murphy is back to making Eddie Murphy movies.
And that is probably either all you need to know to either burn a path to the cinema, or avoid the thing like an in-law.
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Reno 911!: Miami
DATE: 03/06/2007 22:01:21
Gotta be one of the worst movies I’ve seen in recent memory, and looking over the archives, that’s saying A LOT.
Anything good in this joyless, artless piece of crap is already in the preview; everything else is just eyeball-drying penance for something you must’ve done in a past life.
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Music and Lyrics
DATE: 03/06/2007 21:56:16
I’m amazed that a film starring Drew Barrymore & Hugh Grant wasn’t a lot worse.
Which isn’t to say you need to rush out & see it.
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Eklavya: The Royal Guard
DATE: 03/06/2007 21:53:15
A traditional story in a modern setting, with a storybook framing.
Tough to describe, but worth checking out.
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Breach
DATE: 02/16/2007 23:01:39
Religious fanatic pervert spy takes Ryan Phillippe under his wing.
Sure, it's entertaining enough as-is, but played for laughs, this could have been one helluva tour-de-force.
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Because I Said So
DATE: 02/10/2007 10:39:27
This alleged romantic comedy from Diane Keaton & Mandy Moore is in reality a chilling, skin-crawling psychodramatic portrait of the world's four most annoying women.
If you insist on viewing this, a piece of advice: a nice (LARGE) bottle of somethin'-somethin' will help you to either: a) laugh through the whole thing; or b) drift off into a merciful drooling slumber.
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The Messengers
DATE: 02/07/2007 14:13:30
Big-city family moves into a rural demon house.
I gotta tell ya, it just ain't the same without Scooby-Doo.
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Blood Diamond
DATE: 01/31/2007 23:58:27
Leonardo DiCaprio couldn't keep the Titanic from sinking, & he couldn't manage to keep his "Romeo & Juliet" character alive for a sequel or three--but apparently he's got the goods to nearly single-handedly end the child-soldier trade in Sierra Leone.
It's bloody & violent as all hell, but it is interesting & engaging, and of course anything to end this "you should spend 3 months' salary on your diamond ring" racket is a Very Important Message indeed.
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Venus
DATE: 01/29/2007 15:32:40
A prehumous role for Peter O'Toole has sort of got him in the Professor Higgins of "My Fair Lady" role--except in this case, the piece he's after is no Audrey Hepburn, no sir/ma'am.
Hey, if you like to witness old folks acting dirty and talking scat--and "Golden Girls" is just too sweet & funny for you--you'd be better off checking out "Grumpy Old Men" or one of those 70's George Burns/Art Carney disasters.
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Smokin' Aces
DATE: 01/26/2007 21:06:01
Kevin Smith favorite Ben Affleck, plus National Lampoonite Ryan Reynolds, plus former big names Andy Garcia & Ray Liotta, plus TV's Jeremy Piven, Jason Bateman, Curtis Armstrong, & Matthew Fox, equal one big, fat, stupid, bloody boring mess--that just doesn't add up.
What I think we have here, is what might happen if Quentin Tarantino were to collaborate with Elmore Leonard...after a 14-week paste-eating marathon.
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TITLE: And the Nominees Are...
DATE: 01/24/2007 18:54:07
The entrants have been named in one of the world’s most-watched popularity contests—and as usual, some deserving films are missing while some undeserving ones are up for the crown.
Here’s the Two-Sentence take on each of the contenders.
Babel
One traumatic incident on a bus with Brad Pitt creates ugly reverberations all over the world.
It's engaging but harrowing; I wouldn't want to live through it again--but I still can't seem to drum up any sympathy for that Jennifer Anniston.
The Departed
Jack Nicholson goes over the top in this new Martin Scorsese pic--but if it wasn't OTT, it wouldn't be Nicholson, now would it?
Terrific and engaging right until the very end, when two very disappointing things happened: a fuzzy animal shows up on screen to drive home the whole point with a sledgehammer--and some jerko in the theater started talking on his cellphone.
Letters from Iwo Jima
Clint Eastwood's second trip to the island is told from the Japanese perspective, and shows that no one has a monopoly on humanity.
The film is beautiful, and ugly, timeless, and really wonderful--even for people who "don't go to war movies."
Little Miss Sunshine
The Grandparent-Dies-Comically-On-Roadtrip picture concept gets revisited—this time, thankfully, without Chevy Chase.
It’s okay overall—smirk-worthy—but I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry during the kiddie pageant scenes that I found to be alarmingly JonBonet.
The Queen
Helen Mirren heads an excellent cast in this movie set during the week after Princess Diana's death.
Great as Mirren always is, though--I've got to ask: THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND--shouldn't that really be Monty Python territory??
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Babul
DATE: 01/24/2007 18:37:24
Man's father misses his dead son--his "buddy"--so much... that he marries his beloved daughter-in-law off to another man.
Family & tradition do not approve of this odd & selfless matchmaking, but when a movie is three hours long, you just sometimes gotta shoehorn in an extra love story!
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Letters from Iwo Jima
DATE: 01/23/2007 09:51:22
Clint Eastwood's second trip to the island is told from the Japanese perspective, and shows that no one has a monopoly on humanity.
The film is beautiful, and ugly, timeless, and really wonderful--even for people who "don't go to war movies."
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Guru
DATE: 01/20/2007 08:35:20
The rise & fall of an Indian polyester king can be disturbing at times--but of course, we've all had our bad experiences with that fabric.
I say it's worth a trip for the fun & uplift of the movie's first half, but leave at intermission before you--and this film--get too tired & overwrought.
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Primeval (BONUS 2nd REVIEW)
DATE: 01/20/2007 08:33:07
This marks a rare occurance for a major studio release--usually, American actors this bad can only find work as bit players in overseas cinema!
Oh, and somebody call Disneyland--one of the animatronic beasts has been stolen from their Jungle Cruise.
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Primeval
DATE: 01/19/2007 16:17:20
This is the motion picture that does NOT star Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren or Judi Dench.
And yes, there is most certainly a very good reason for that.
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Notes on a Scandal
DATE: 01/14/2007 08:24:22
Judi Dench dumps her hottish-much-much-older-woman-of-power look as James Bond's M to portray a bitter, manipulative freak bearing a closer resemblance to Linda Hunt.
Cate Blanchett plays a fellow older woman--who happens to be a statutory rapist--and the audience ends up alternately waiting for a murder and wishing for a cleansing bath.
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Children of Men
DATE: 01/12/2007 19:01:00
Eighteen years after Earth's last child is born, the world is in total chaos; violence, disorder, betrayal & confusion reign supreme.
Sort of like L.A. after the verdict, or the U.S. after the reelection.
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I See You
DATE: 01/07/2007 18:51:07
Boy Meets Girl--but no one else can see her (she's a ghost, you see--ehr, sorta).
It's a classic movie theme, but done just right here, with lots of great energy, music, laughs and sex appeal--she might have been dead, but it didn't kill me!
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Code Name: The Cleaner
DATE: 01/05/2007 23:41:11
Cedric the Entertainer heads a motley cast including Lucy Liu and Iron Chef America's Chairman--as well as an ubiquitous boom microphone--in a spy-thriller-comedy that's got "sequel" written all over it.
This just the type of movie Whoopi Goldberg was making 20 years ago--in fact, I'm pretty sure it seems to be a remake--and that may be exactly why I enjoyed it so much.
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Happily N'Ever After
DATE: 01/05/2007 23:22:09
Odd to hire Sarah Michelle- & Freddie Prinze Jr.-Gellar to work out of sight doing voices, when their one special talent is Looking Cute.
Between the annoyingly, painfully bad performances, writing, direction, music, rendering and animation, this sub-direct-to-DVD-quality effort is not simply horrible--it's downright malignant.
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Bhagam Bhag
DATE: 01/03/2007 00:36:21
Indian song & dance group travel to London to put on a production of Lloyd-Webber-sized proportions and gall--so, of COURSE murder will be committed!
The rapid-fire quips and physical comedy make up for the sorry-ass attempt at a touching love story.
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Kabul Express
DATE: 12/29/2006 01:12:26
A set of harrowing cross-cultural human exchanges in post-9/11 Afghanistan is engaging, moving, and not without a good deal of humor.
Unlike most Hindi films I've seen, this one is free of musical production numbers, almost brief at a mere 2 hours running time--and saddled with one awful American actress (her skills are strictly paneer).
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Curse of the Golden Flower
DATE: 12/29/2006 01:02:31
Britain's crowned crowd's got absolutely nothing on this dysfunctional royal family, where it's Oedipal mess upon Oedipal mess.
This movie is amazingly intense, colorful, disturbing and beautiful, and you shouldn't miss it.
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Eragon
DATE: 12/27/2006 09:36:15
This is a prime example of a movie that is completely upstaged by its lobby display card--you'd get more entertainment out of a trip to Medieval Times restaurant.
And what's the deal with this kid back in Dragon Days having frosted hair???
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Night at the Museum
DATE: 12/26/2006 14:05:48
Ben Stiller, Robin Williams & Matlock team up in this surpisingly not-that-bad throwback to Disney's 1970s Ken Berry/Don Knotts idiofests.
NOT surprisingly, it's also not-that-GOOD.
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The Pursuit of Happyness
DATE: 12/23/2006 09:00:48
Will Smith and his real-life son, as well as the rest of the cast--the city of San Francisco included--are great (and happily, the misspelling is dealt with immediately).
On the other hand, this is one long & depressing motion picture.
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Unaccompanied Minors
DATE: 12/16/2006 19:48:02
One kid in this deja-vu smart kids/stupid adults, Teri Garr-in-a-fatsuit, sorry "Breakfast Club" wannabe flick says "I usually try to avoid cliches."
Nobody involved here was any paying attention--not even the writer himself.
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Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj
DATE: 12/10/2006 20:19:59
Kal Penn can't save this assembly-line, cookie-cutter, color-by-number, phone-it-in frathouse bore--supposedly curry flavored, but no more spicy than store-brand Miracle Whip.
I've seen episodes of "Murder She Wrote" that are more creative and side-splitting than this lame snoozefest.
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The History Boys
DATE: 12/10/2006 19:59:34
Harry Potter's Uncle Vernon plays the Edward James Olmos role in this, the latest--and gayest--version of "Stand and Deliver."
It does have its fun moments, but I fail to see why the filmmakers think the ending is supposed to jerk our tears (heh).
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Stranger Than Fiction
DATE: 12/03/2006 22:58:22
Amazingly, Will Ferrell turns in an uncharacteristically restrained performance.
Amazingly, Dustin Hoffman turns in an uncharacteristically restrained performance.
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Dhoom 2
DATE: 12/02/2006 00:55:54
Bollywood crime caper packed with tons of great action, comedy, music, & eye candy.
And while the original is also a great flick, you don't need to have seen it to enjoy this sequel.
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The Fountain
DATE: 12/02/2006 00:44:04
Hugh Jackman goes back & forth in intertwined stories set in the present day, in Mesoamerican times, and--apparently--within a "snow dome."
I wonder if this movie was as tiring, annoying & useless to make as it was to watch.
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Deja Vu
DATE: 11/26/2006 01:32:27
Denzel in an entertaining-enough mystery-crime-thriller/time-travel flick where he finds that anything he tries--he's already done.
For a more comedic take on this idea, please see "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey."
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For Your Consideration
DATE: 11/24/2006 09:05:59
The latest improv-driven comedy from Christopher Guest & company focuses in on bad actors in a bad movie--with a big Oscar® buzz.
While often hilarious, it could also be a true-life adventure.
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Happy Feet
DATE: 11/24/2006 08:52:22
A really great soundtrack--but better you should download that than sit through this overlong, dressed-up serving of typical cartoon plot boredom.
Not since "Jaws" has a movie been so adept at serving up an urge to kill marine life.
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Casino Royale
DATE: 11/20/2006 08:02:08
Pierce who?
This is the best Bond flick ever: best cinemetography, best physical action (thanks in part to the free running stunts)--best M, of course, because they kept Judi Dench--and the best, most believable, Bond.
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Fast Food Nation
DATE: 11/18/2006 20:45:42
There's poo in the meat, spit in the mayo, and apparently a great big corporate coverup.
Freakiest Bruce Willis movie ever.
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Babel
DATE: 11/18/2006 20:41:48
One traumatic incident on a bus with Brad Pitt creates ugly reverberations all over the world.
It's engaging but harrowing; I wouldn't want to live through it again--but I still can't seem to drum up any sympathy for that Jennifer Anniston.
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The Return
DATE: 11/12/2006 01:19:17
Another "Bad Stuff Happens in Texas" movie, this time starring Sarah Michelle "Buffy" Gellar as a psycho chick trying to solve the mystery of the voices in her head.
On TV, she killed vampires; here, she can't even kill two hours--or the craving for a decent moviegoing experience.
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BORAT: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
DATE: 11/09/2006 22:53:25
After weeks of glorious anticipation, I was--surprisingly--disappointed.
I've got to admit, though: it was deliriously fun watching Borat bag Pam Anderson.
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Don
DATE: 11/04/2006 20:05:22
A remake of the 1970's Bollywood hit crime caper, this is three hours of Big Fun.
And it's better than Bond: more action, more brains, more laughs, more twists and surprises--even a "more better" looking cast!
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Mystic India (IMAX)
DATE: 11/04/2006 19:49:56
Boy yogi takes a seven-year walk and becomes a national hero.
Beautiful scenery, amazing temples, and--best of all--a Sting-free score.
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Greece: Secrets of the Past (IMAX)
DATE: 11/04/2006 19:46:34
"Big Fat Greek" director Nia Vardolos narrates 45 minutes of pure homeland pride.
She's got a voice made for The Silents, but any IMAX movie without a score by Sting is fine by me.
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Running with Scissors
DATE: 10/30/2006 10:10:56
Annette Bening's latest movie puts the "OH!" into schizophrenic.
The musical design was fantastic, the funny parts were really funny, and as for everything else--I'm really (reallly) happy that I wasn't able to relate to it.
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Catch a Fire
DATE: 10/28/2006 21:45:20
It was interesting seeing Tim Robbins as a bad guy, and Derek Luke is just plain great, in this Apartheid-set docudrama.
The really incredible thing: this is one of those rare movies that is much better than its own preview!
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The Grudge 2
DATE: 10/26/2006 21:34:03
Attractive young people are the first to go.
So what else is new.
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The Last King of Scotland
DATE: 10/24/2006 18:10:22
Forest Whitaker and James McAvoy are terrific in this political thriller, a "what if" take on Idi Amin's Ugandan rule.
If you are into bullets, breasts, & brogue, skip Bond--the smarter, more exciting version is right here.
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Marie Antoinette
DATE: 10/22/2006 19:04:47
People will stay away from it in droves because it sounds like a period bioflick, but check the facts: Spider-Man's girlfriend stars, it features 80's rock, and it's directed by (eeek!) Sofia Coppola!
Check it out, everyone; it's fluffy, & fun, & even kinda sexy.
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The Prestige
DATE: 10/20/2006 21:27:51
This is the OTHER magic movie--not the one with Edward Norton, but the one with the guys who played Batman and Wolverine.
Twists so engaging, tricks so amazing, the only way it could have been any better was if these geniouses had developed a way to make 30 minutes go "POOF" and disappear--thus perhaps leaving the audiences wanting more, instead of less.
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The Departed
DATE: 10/20/2006 21:21:59
Jack Nicholson goes over the top in this new Martin Scorsese pic--but if it wasn't OTT, it wouldn't be Nicholson, now would it?
Terrific and engaging right until the very end, when two very disappointing things happened: a fuzzy animal shows up on screen to drive home the whole point with a sledgehammer--and some jerko in the theater started talking on his cellphone.
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The Queen
DATE: 10/16/2006 21:54:21
Helen Mirren heads an excellent cast in this movie set during the week after Princess Diana's death.
Great as Mirren always is, though--I've got to ask: THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND--shouldn't that really be Monty Python territory??
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Shortbus
DATE: 10/16/2006 21:37:59
I didn't know walking in that this new, unrated movie from John Cameron Mitchell (who made Hedwig and the Angry Inch) was explicit enough to kill Jack Valenti at forty paces--that was an interesting surprise.
The real pleasant surprise was what an intereting film it turned out to be, with situations and characters the viewer can really care about.
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Infamous
DATE: 10/14/2006 21:31:56
"The other Truman Capote movie" had me laughing, engaged, and leaving the theater wanting to read a ton of books.
Easily the best movie I've seen in months.
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A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints
DATE: 10/14/2006 21:25:24
New York guy grows up in hellish surroundings with punkass buddies, somehow escapes alive, returns, then makes this real-life movie about it.
Couldn't he have just have just kept it to his diary, and thus spared the rest of us an hour and a half (and 10 bucks) trying to make sense of his "personal vision?"
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Man of the Year
DATE: 10/14/2006 10:46:30
Politician always says first thing that comes to mind, regardless of whether it is intelligent or appropriate--why does this sound familiar?
Promoted as a raucous comedy, this film quickly turns to hack dramatic intrigue--what a huge disappointment.
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The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
DATE: 10/12/2006 22:51:29
Grotesque, stupid, & virtually unredeemable.
But of course, I should have known that--it DOES say "Texas," right there on the label!
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The Guardian
DATE: 10/07/2006 09:00:44
Ten years later, they've let Kevin Costner back in the water--this time with Ashton Kutcher.
It's the audience that gets punk'd.
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School for Scoundrels
DATE: 10/07/2006 01:51:42
Billy Bob Thornton's wig & makeup make him look like a kewpie doll.
Even through all that, it's the script that really leaves him looking like an idiot.
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Open Season
DATE: 10/07/2006 01:46:02
So much potty humor you'll swear it's DreamWorks.
Why did the deer have to, uh, scat onscreen?
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Keeping Mum
DATE: 10/07/2006 01:43:01
Maggie Smith, Rowan Atkinson & Patrick Swayze in the same movie?
I'm delighted to report not everyone makes it out alive.
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Superman Returns
DATE: 10/07/2006 01:37:54
The producers are too busy worshipping the dead to make a decent movie.
The nicest thing I can find to say is that Clark & Lois have matching cleft chins.
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