Sardaar Ji 2

I wish the movie were as fun as all of its posters make it look, but posters lie all the time.

I did like his secret good & evil selves, exactly the kind of thing I remember from old Donald Duck cartoons.


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Laal Rang

Well, they do talk about "Dracula" and "Batman" an awful lot, but even with blood flying all over the place, it's just not all that exciting.

To be honest, I just saw this one so I could avoid "Fan."

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Bāhubali: The Beginning

Wait: I just sat through this fourteen-hour movie (give or take several hours)--no intermission--to learn that there is absolutely no resolution to the plot until "Baahubali: The Conclusion" comes out next year, by which time I will remember none of this?

Okay, so maybe the subtitle "the Beginning" should have given me the hint...


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Khoobsurat

Surely this Disney take on a Bollywood flick pleases fans of neither.

Everything that makes Bollywood fun had been watered down--and a princess plot added--in what looked like the results of binge watching Disney Channel made-for-TV movies.

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Kick

Sad psychiatrist meets adrenaline junkie.

What happens next has all the acting subtlety of a Disneyland stage show.


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Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania

A dance scene on a rock wall, a 3-D piñata, and even a hot li'l love scene--I'm all in!

With all the modern cinematic advances, though, you'd think they'd be able to do something about chest-shaving bumps.

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Bobby Jasoos

Based on the movie previews indicating this was a screwball detective comedy, I was really looking forward to this movie.  

That stuff was all fun--fun enough that I would be happy to see more of Bobby--but all the tear-jerking family drama & too-serious crime connection (among other things) made me think the filmmakers forgot this was ever supposed to be comedic.

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Holiday: A Soldier is Never Off Duty

The over-the-top culminating fight scene nearly made me wish I hadn't sat through the rest of the movie.

And vice-versa, probably.


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Filmistaan

When the characters here talk about "French movies," I think they mean porn.

I wonder if, in French porn, everyone smokes.


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2 States

Was it love at first sight, when this guy saw the young woman being verbally abusive toward the cafeteria staff?

I don't know, but the couple made it far enough so that their parents had the opportunity to hate one another.


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The Wind Rises

Starts out on such a whimsical, fantasy-rich level, of course I was disappointed as I realized the whole thing could not end well.

While I respect the artist's annual assertions of having just made his last film, I do hope that when he does finally bow out, it's on a note so cute as to make Hello Kitty's teeth hurt.

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Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Never mind the attempts at lip-synching that don't actually count as "attempts"--seriously, no nit-picking--never mind those.

There is absolutely nothing at all wrong with this movie--nothing at all that shaving about an hour off of the interminable running time wouldn't solve.




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Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana

If the movie ever spins itself off into frozen dinners, this would make an OK box.
I don't know if they'll want to be totally honest on the ingredients label, though.

I enjoyed this movie that is sort-of-tangentially-but hardly-at-all-really about cooking tasty food, and it gave me an idea for a recipe that surely someone, somewhere has tried before.

It would be helpful, wouldn't it, to counteract heartburn & stomach upset by slipping pepto right into the food!

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Student of the Year

Does eye candy make for an interesting movie?

Not if you have interests beyond eye candy, no--not much at all.

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English Vinglish

So good, and so fun to watch, it could have been a Top-3 box-office hit.

That is, if it weren't for the fact that American audiences don't like to read their movies.

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Heroine

Dramatic moments are accompanied by over-the-top swells of music & choppy cuts, indicating the filmmakers don't trust their own writing.

The abrupt, pasted-on ten-second voice-over "this is how it ends" faux conclusion proves they were right to doubt themselves.



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Barfi!

Loved the physical humor, the more-subtle approach, and the fact they actually stuck with the same story after the intermission.

Of course, my eyes are still rolling over the handy way they dispatched with the inconvenient love triangle.




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Raula Pai Gaya - Fun Unlimited

A singularly-awful movie: "comedy" accentuated by the overuse of sound effects rather by creating actual laughs, editing that would be mocked by an eighth-grader on YouTube, and perhaps the worst & most unnecessary attempted use of CGI I have ever seen.

If I had actually liked anything about the movie, I would have been irritated by the incompetent subtitling, which went out at random, and when it was on, employed spelling & grammar only marginally better than that which I've seen on signs at Tea Party rallies.



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Joker

Will the evil American destroy our hero's plan to fake an alien landing (and thus save his village)?

The horrible Western actors in Bollywood films must NEVER win!



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The Intouchables

French friendship--on wheels!

Of course, if this were an American movie, there'd be a sequel involving the quadriplegic & his caretaker switching roles.



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